Adonai is Semper Fi

Answered Prayer

2011-11-06T12:48:00.000-08:00

I know it's been quite sometime since I last updated this blog, but I've been waiting for a series of events to run their course before I gave a general update. Allow me to explain:

A few months ago (back in August, I believe), I was training with my California National Guard unit up at Camp Roberts. We had just found out that our anticipated deployment in early 2012 had been canceled, and I was wondering what I would do for full-time employment. Our battalion XO recommended that I check out the "Tour of Duty" website, where all Guard/Reserve job openings are posted. I did, and lo and behold there was one vacancy for a chaplain to deploy - with a unit from the Rhode Island National Guard. I immediately informed my Brigade Chaplain of this opportunity, and was told to "go for it."

When I called to get more information, I was told that the Battalion Commander was interviewing prospective chaplains to determine who he would want to take with him. A few days later, the commander called me and asked me if I wanted to apply for the position. When I told him yes, we went through a short interview and he said he would get back to me the next day with his decision. Tamara and I prayed about it that night, asking that if it was God's will for me to take this job that he would grant me favor in the sight of this commander and be offered the position.

The next morning the commander called me back and said that he had selected me to fill the available chaplain's billet and accompany them on their deployment!

So far, it seemed that God had answered our prayers and all that remained was to get out to Rhode Island and deploy with his unit, right? Wrong.

When I called my current battalion commander about this opportunity, he was very favorably disposed to letting me go, but said that it was up to his boss - the brigade commander. The brigade commander said I could go, but only if I could backfill my position - something that our state chaplain would have to do. When I called our state chaplain, I was surprised to find that he was unwilling to let me go; apparently, there is a chronic shortage of qualified chaplains in the California Guard and he was not about to let one go voluntarily, no matter how pressing my financial need was to find a job. The only way he would let me go was if I found a full-time job in another state, which would necessitate an interstate transfer. The only problem was that I didn't know anyone in Rhode Island and certainly didn't have any job prospects in New England!

A day or two later I was talking to my dad about all this, and he agreed that the only way I could go with this unit was if I was able to find a job in New England and do an interstate transfer. He remembered that our old pastor at the Virginia Beach Community Chapel - Dr. Harold Burchett - was living in Rhode Island, and did I want him to call and see what he could do? This set in motion a chain of events which resulted in a church in Attleboro, MA offering to create a position for me as their Military Ministry Coordinator - which would allow me to present my state chaplain with a letter of employment. This in turn would require California to release me to the National Guard unit of my choosing - which, naturally, would be the deploying Rhode Island unit.

After coordinating with the battalion commander and senior chaplains in Rhode Island, I moved out here on October 12th to get settled in to the area and begin working with the unit. However, my transfer was delayed due to some administrative issues. Finally, the paperwork came through last week and I was released from California and officially attached to Rhode Island. My new unit is already in the process of cutting me orders for the remainder of November and ensuring that I get paid for the weeks in October that I was out here.

As it stands now, our unit will get mobilized on November 27th, and will spend nearly two months training at Ft. Hood, TX before flying over to Kuwait. We'll be stationed at Udairi Army Airfield in Kuwait for nine months, and then will return to RI for about a month of redeployment training before being demobilized.

Thanks to all of you for your continued prayers and financial support during this time. Tamara and I have shared the conviction that this deployment was something that God was opening up for us, but it has been both a financial challenge and a test of our faith to wait for everything to line up in the right order. Praise God that He has brought us through all of these hurdles and that I am now able to begin ministering on a full-time basis to the men and women of the 1st Battalion, 126th Regiment (General Support Aviation Battalion), or 1-126th AVN (GSAB).

Finding God's Will

2011-09-22T01:31:00.000-07:00

I've recently had a series of experiences (still ongoing, at this point) that have caused me to wonder how one goes about finding God's will for any given event. Here's what I've come up with so far:

1) What does Scripture say? Obviously, if what you're considering and/or doing violates a Biblical principle, then this is where it ends. You're not having trouble finding God's will, you're having trouble obeying God's will.

2) How do I feel about it? Now, I'm not saying that feelings are the end all/be all determining factor when it comes to decision-making, but God did include them as part of our makeup, so it's probably not wise to exclude them altogether. The bottom line is, is this something that's just a passing fancy, or is it something that keeps coming to mind over and over again? If it's the latter, it might be something that God has put on your heart, so you need to take it to the next level.

3) Seek Christian counsel. Go to several wise Christian friends whose opinions you trust and share with them what's on your heart. I'm fortunate to have several Christian brothers who can provide that for me, but it could be anyone. Your pastor. Your small group leader. Heck, even your mom & dad, if you want. The point is to get a variety of other people's unbiased opinions so that they can help point out if the heartburn you have is from God lighting a fire in you or from a bad slice of pizza last night.

4) Begin pursuing your path. If you've followed the previous three steps, and you still have a green light, then I'd say it's time to start following that path. Take it slow, and remember to leave room for God to either open or close the door whenever He wants.

5) Keep an "open hand." Too often, once we begin following a certain path, our natural impulse to control events causes us to try to predict a certain timeline and/or outcome for when/how things should turn out. We begin to tighten our grip, and as a result we take it out of God's hands and try to "finish the job" through our own efforts. Resist this temptation. Allow God to work things out according to His timing - not yours.

Lessons from Jonah

2011-06-20T00:18:00.000-07:00

From Jonah 4:5-11:

Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the LORD God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

But the LORD said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”

In my last post I shared about how I had finally passed the accession interview and was approved for immediate appointment as a chaplain, thus reaching a goal I have been faithfully pursuing for the past seven years or so. But something happened that day that seemed to overshadow that event and rob me of the joy I should've felt in finally being able to wear the cross. Allow me to explain:

When I first came into the Guard as a chaplain candidate back in 2008, I was told that upon selection as a chaplain I would be entitled to a $10,000 "accession bonus," since chaplains were/are in short supply. It was an unexpected thing - after all, one does not become a chaplain for the money that's in it - but obviously it was very welcome news. As I neared my goal of finally becoming a chaplain (and as our financial situation was still very precarious), this $10k became kind of a big deal. We had already made plans on how we would use it - nothing extravagant, mind you, but it would go a long way towards paying some outstanding bills and maybe even provide some funds for a much-needed family vacation this summer.

So it was with no small degree of consternation that I learned that I would not be getting the bonus after all.

Picture the scenario: I'm sitting in a room with other future officers (doctors & JAG lawyers), having just completed my interview and slightly giddy from the realization that I've *finally* completed the last remaining hurdle to pinning on the cross. All we're waiting on now is for the last interviews to be completed so that we can all go take the oath of office and be sworn into our respective fields. All the other officers are busily signing their paperwork entitling them to various bonuses and loan repayment programs - which must be signed BEFORE you take the oath, or else you lose your entitlement to any bonus you might be eligible for.

Suddenly, one of the recruiters enters the room and asks me to step outside for a moment. When I do, he hands me a cell phone and says that someone from the recruiting office needs to speak with me. I take the phone and "Bob" tells me that they don't have the control number they need to qualify me for my bonus. Not only that, but he tells me that I was disapproved for a control number, and that the Incentive Program Manager had determined that I was ineligible for the accession bonus on account of having previously served as a commissioned officer in the Marine Corps.

I tell him there must be some mistake - I had been promised this bonus for the last three years, by every recruiter I had ever spoken with, none of which had ever mentioned anything about my prior service in the Marines. "I'm sorry," he said, "they shouldn't have promised you that."

After a few more minutes of futile conversation, I handed the phone back and went back into the room. Gone was the joy I had been experiencing only a few short minutes before, replaced by frustration, anger and indignation. How could they do this to me? That money was mine! Why would they wait until literally the last minute to tell me? How could everyone make promises and give me wrong information for so long and not be held accountable for it?

You know how in the old Peanuts cartoons there were times when Charlie Brown would have a little raincloud over his head, following him around wherever he went? That's about how I felt. And that black cloud hung over my head for the rest of the day as I continued to fume about the money I wouldn't be getting.

It wasn't until the next day, at my weekly coffee & Bible study with some close friends, that I was actually able to put it in the proper perspective. As I was sharing the situation with these guys, it suddenly dawned on me that I was just like Jonah in the passage above.

When God caused a plant to grow, Jonah was happy to have the shade. But when it withered, he was angry at God - so angry that he wanted to die! But why was he so angry? I believe it was because he had lost perspective about what was truly important (the salvation of the Ninevites) and instead was overly concerned with his own physical well-being. God rightly chastises Jonah by reminding him that he (Jonah) had nothing to do with the plant's existence - he didn't plant it, water it, or cause it to grow. God did that, and it was God's decision to take it away. What's more important, a plant that shades your head or 120,000 people who don't know the Lord?

It struck me that I had been more concerned about the $10k bonus than I was about being able to serve as a chaplain. I didn't earn that money - I didn't work for it, invest it, and cause it to grow. Yet I was angry when it was taken away from me. Instead of rejoicing over my newly approved commission to minister to soldiers in ways that would have eternal significance, I was focusing all of my attention on something that is temporary, material and fleeting.

I was Jonah.

We don't know how the story ends with Jonah. We don't know if God's gentle rebuke caused him to have a change of heart or whether he continued to nurse his hurt feelings (and scorched head). But I do know what happened in my heart that day: I ceased to be angry about not getting the bonus. I rediscovered the joy of finally being commissioned to do God's work as a chaplain.

So what things are there in your life that is causing you to lose focus on what's really important? There's probably quite a list to choose from, but I'll bet that if you examine them they pale in comparison to what we should be concerned about - serving God with the gifts He has given us to the utmost of our abilities. Don't waste your time and consume your thoughts and energy by focusing outward on temporary, earthly things. Money. Promotions. Possessions. Status. Turn your attention upward and let God remind you of what He has for you to do, because THAT is what's truly of lasting importance.

At Last!

2011-06-17T03:39:00.000-07:00

I am officially a chaplain in the California Army National Guard!

Thursday afternoon I attended the Federal Recognition Board to determine whether or not I would be selected to become a chaplain. It was supposed to be a video teleconference (VTC), but somehow they were having connectivity problems, so it ended up being a phone conversation between me and several board members. They asked about my prior service in the Marines, and whether or not I understood what would be expected of me as a chaplain. They also asked about how I would support Army policies that I might find offensive or contrary to my beliefs (such as the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"). Finally, they asked where I saw myself ten years from now. Apparently, my answers must've been satisfactory, for I was told that they thought I had what it takes and they were pleased to inform me that they were recommending me for immediate accession as a chaplain! Woo-hoo!

I must say, it's been quite a long time coming - and I'm nowhere near the end of my journey. But this is a pretty significant milestone and I'm thrilled that I can finally wear the cross and call myself "Chaplain Harvey" now.

Adonai is Semper Fi!

My God Shall Supply All Thy Needs, Part II

2011-05-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

So I've been pursuing this internship thing with our local church, but at a meeting last week with the Executive Pastor, it became clear that it would not work out. I won't go into all the details, but the bottom line is that they can't pay me for the work I would do, and aren't really set up to allow me to raise support through their missions program.

This was a bit of a setback, and again, not exactly what I was expecting. But God does not lead us down blind alleys and then simply abandon us - He always has a plan.

Today I had the privilege of attending the change of command ceremony for the Recruit Training Regiment at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD), San Diego. An old friend of mine, Col. Mike Lee, was taking command, and I had been invited to attend. I had previously worked with Col. Lee back in Germany in 2004-05, and considered him one of the finest Marines I had had the opportunity to work with in all my years as a Marine.

As we were standing around waiting for the ceremony to begin, I spied a Navy chaplain standing nearby. He was wearing the Marine service uniform, so I knew he had to be assigned to a Marine command. As it turns out, he is the regimental chaplain - so Col. Lee will be his new boss. As we began talking, something in his mannerisms seemed familiar, and I told him that I thought I knew him from somewhere. As military folk have done for ages, we went back through all the commands we had served at, looking for some common ground. Finally, he said that he had served with the 1st Marine Division back in the late 90's. When I asked which unit, he replied, "1st Battalion, 11th Marines." My old unit! I had been assigned to 1/11 from 1995-1999, and he had been my battalion chaplain during part of that time!

Though we didn't have too much time to talk then, I got his contact information and called him later that evening. I explained where I was in regards to the chaplaincy with the National Guard, and then asked him what he would do if he had an "extra" chaplain at MCRD - could he find a place to use them on a full-time basis? He replied by listing several commands that were understaffed - mainly the med hold units where injured recruits go to recover and rehabilitate from injuries or illnesses. He said there were lots of opportunities for ministries, and that it would be no problem to find real chaplain work for an interested individual.

The only downside is the money. Since there's no "official" position open, my work there would be on a voluntary basis - they can't hire me as a chaplain. Working there could count as drills for the National Guard, but my unit up in LA would have to agree to pay for it - which I doubt they would do on a full-time basis. So, what I may end up doing is partnering with a parachurch organization (like the Navigators) and seeing if they will sponsor me for this ministry - even if it means I have to raise my own support.

So that's where it stands now. The Lord has brought together two individuals in key positions that I have prior relationships with, and has opened the door to a crucial ministry where I can serve to my heart's content. I can start as soon as I'm officially recognized as a chaplain by the National Guard (which should take place on June 19th), so in the next few weeks I'll be contacting various organizations to see about serving with them.

Please keep us in your prayers regarding all of this. Tamara and I both feel that this is a "Divine appointment," but it's always easy to be anxious about things, esp. when it comes to finances. Please pray that He will continue to open doors so that I can provide for my family even as I seek to minister to the Marines.

Progression of Spiritual Thought

2011-04-17T19:37:00.000-07:00

‎1. I am aware of my weaknesses & inadequacies, so I turn to God.

2. I am aware of my weaknesses & inadequacies, so I ask God to help me. I may not overcome them, but I am reassured by His presence.

3. I am aware of my weaknesses & inadequacies, so I ask God for strength. I may barely overcome them, but feel that He is helping me.

4. I am aware of my weaknesses & inadequacies, so I let God become my strength. He inhabits me with His own courage, firmness and power. I revel in my own weakness and laugh at obstacles because He is in me and He is the one who overcomes them.

My God Shall Supply All Thy Needs

2011-04-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

I see that it's been some months since I last posted, and that's ok. I know that other people post all sorts of relevant topical posts on the latest political happenings, but that's not my bag, baby.

However, as I see God's hand at work and/or experience some revelation or confluence of events that I simply can't keep to myself, I post it on here. Hopefully, it will edify those who read it in addition to serving as a "road map" of my journey with Christ.

That being said, here's the latest:

Several weeks ago, I applied for a pastoral internship at a local church. They had an established program and were looking for a good candidate to serve a one-year internship - I thought it sounded perfect and that I would be a natural fit for the job. The only problem was that I didn't get hired.

Despite my disappointment, I continued to think about that possibility - if this church didn't need me in that role, perhaps there was another church nearby who would have a similar need and where I might serve in some capacity. So, a few weeks later we found ourselves attending North Coast Calvary Chapel, a place where Tamara attended some years back, and where a number of our friends are currently attending.

After the service, I was perusing the tables outside that had information on all the various ministries the church has to offer. Of course, I was immediately drawn to the military outreach section, maybe because they had a small Marine Corps flag displayed on the table. There I met Jack & Nina Baugh, the coordinators for the military support network. Nina immediately pegged me for a Marine (the haircut always gives it away), and began to learn my story. As we were talking, a young couple approached and she excused herself to speak with them. As I stood and listened, I learned that the young man was a new Marine, had recently been married, had a young month-old son, and was due to deploy at the end of the year. My heart immediately went out to this young family - so many "new" things going on in their lives, and they were about to face the stress and pressure of a deployment in the near future. They told Nina that they were interested in getting involved in a small group Bible study, and she left to go get the small groups pastor. He came over and told them that they didn't have a military small group at the moment, as they currently had no one to lead such a group.

That was when I felt the Holy Spirit giving me a nudge.

So, like Isaiah, I said "Here I am, send me!" Well, maybe not those exact words - but something like that. It was just the opportunity I was looking for, and I couldn't pass it up.

One thing led to another, and in the two weeks since then I've met with several of the pastors about getting involved with the military ministry at the church. I'll be leading a small group study for military folks, and will more than likely be involved in their outreach program at Camp Pendleton in some capacity. I don't know yet how it will all play out, but have this wonderful feeling that God is at work and is leading us here to serve Him here in some capacity.

To be sure, this is not the path I envisioned for us years or even months ago. I had thought that I was going to be a Navy chaplain and would serve in that capacity until I eventually retired sometime down the road. Don't get me wrong - I still feel that the chaplaincy is an open door, but not that it's what I should be striving for right now. For now, I need to serve Him in whatever capacity I can WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW, and let the future take care of itself. When the time is right, I'll happily walk through that door and put on the Navy uniform.

Of course, our finances continue to be an ongoing concern, but God has been faithful there as well. Matthew 6:31-33 tells us:

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

What this tells me is that my primary mission is not seeking a job, or seeking financial well-being; it's seeking the Kingdom of God. He knows our needs, and has not led us all the way down this path only to drop us off a cliff. Of course, it's one thing to preach this message on a Sunday, and quite another when it's your own family at risk, and there are days when the doubt creeps in and I get scared and anxious about what the future holds for us. But over and over again I find myself falling back on God's promise. If He is in me, if He is my strength, then I cannot fail - for that would mean that God would fail.

And one thing I know is that God does not fail.

Facing Disappointment

2010-11-02T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally had a chance to appear before the Navy's CARE (Chaplain Appointment Retention and Advisory) board last Thursday out in Washington DC. Sat before a panel of 6 senior chaplains and one line officer and answered a series of questions relating to my military service, ministry experience, views on the chaplaincy, etc. One of the last questions I was asked was "If you are not selected by this board, what will you do?" I answered that I would continue to seek appointment as a chaplain - whether in the Army or National Guard - because I feel strongly that the Lord has called me to this ministry. If the military door was irrevocably closed, I would likely pursue a career as a hospital or prison chaplain.

Well, it seems as though that answer is now being put to the test, as my chaplain recruiter called today to inform me that my name was not on the list of those recommended for active duty by the CARE board. Although I've heard no specific reason for their recommendation, my hunch is that it is related to my ministry experience, or lack thereof. You see, the military wants its chaplains to have a minimum of two years of full-time experience - preferably post-graduate - and I have to admit that I barely meet that requirement. Even though I've been an associate pastor at my church for the last two years, it appears that they don't consider that as being "full-time" enough, and would like to see more post-graduate work.

Of course, this is disappointing news for a number of reasons. First, this is what we've been aiming for for the last several years, so getting turned down now means that plans must be shelved and priorities rearranged, not to mention the fact that I must now find some other means of full-time employment. Second, it's frustrating to have come so far in the process only to be told that you're not quite there and that you need more time & experience. Finally, there's a tendency towards self-doubt; a wondering if maybe I've been pursuing this for my own reasons and maybe have misinterpreted God's directions for me in this matter.

On the other hand, we know that God is in control of all things, and that nothing happens that is a surprise to Him. We still trust in the message of Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

So what does this mean for us now? Well, after talking with Tamara we've decided to go ahead and pursue appointment as a National Guard chaplain. Not only will this allow me to stay engaged with the military ministry, but there's a distinct possibility that I can/will be deployed with them in the next year or so, which would go a long way towards meeting the "experience" part of the equation. Hopefully, in another year or so I can reapply for the Navy and go from there, but for now we're just committed to seeing where God can use us best in the meantime.

Still resting in His hands.
Adonai is STILL Semper Fi.

Physical Fitness

2010-08-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Soon after I started this blog, I was in a bad motorcycle accident that left me with a broken right ankle and badly shattered left wrist. I endured two surgeries, and many months of therapy to regain use of both limbs. For most of 2009, I was unable to do much physical exercise, as it hurt to run for any distance and my wrist wasn't strong enough for lifting weights.

Originally, my surgeon had told me that he thought I'd never be able to do pushups again, as the flexibility and joint stress needed to perform that exercise would probably be gone. I set out to prove him wrong.

I persisted at doing as many as I could manage - even if it was only 4 or 5 at a time while on my knees. Eventually, I worked my way up to 20, then 25. It hurt my wrist some, but not badly, and I knew that the bones were strong enough to handle it.

Running was another story. Every time I would go for a jog, I would get about 1/2 mile and then end up limping on my bad ankle. Instead, I began to use the elliptical machine at our gym, which allows you to run in a non-impact way. With Tamara's encouragement, I also enrolled in the "Boot Camp" class at our gym, which provides a solid cardio workout, which I desperately needed. I even did CrossFit for a few weeks, though it's a bit more expensive and I didn't have as much time to devote to it as I would have liked.

Then I came out here to Ft Jackson for their chaplain school. A week after I arrived, we had our first "diagnostic" Physical Fitness Test (PFT). I had a waiver for the 2-mile run portion, but had to do the pushups and situps. For my age, 34 pushups and 38 situps are considered a passing score. The situps were no problem, but my grader only counted 25 pushups - apparently, he thought that I wasn't going down low enough, despite the fact that my chest was touching the ground on each repetition.

Last Wednesday, we took the PFT again - this time for score. And, I'm proud to say, I did much better this time. 45 pushups, 60 situps, and a 2-mile run in 16:57. I didn't know how I would do on the run, and even though an 8:30 mile pace isn't too fast, it's much better than I thought I would do, considering that I haven't run in such a long time.

Praise God for allowing my body to recover to such a degree, and for continuing to provide me with the strength and stamina to push myself. I'm not yet where I want to be physically (who is?), but it's great to see some positive improvements in that direction.

Navy Chaplaincy update

2010-08-08T18:42:00.001-07:00

So, here I am sitting at Fort Jackson, SC finishing up the Army's Chaplain Basic Officer Leaders Course (or CH-BOLC). It seems somewhat strange to be going through the Army's course when my sights are set on becoming a Navy chaplain.

I arrived out here on 17 July, having sent off my Navy chaplaincy packet a few days earlier. I knew that they had another Navy Chaplain Basic Course (NCBC) starting up in mid-September, but didn't know if they would require me to do the 5-week Officer Development School (ODS) as a prerequisite, or if they would waive it in light of my 16 years of experience as both a Marine Corps and Army officer.

A few weeks after arriving, I met the CO of the Navy's chaplain school, CAPT Langston. He's a chaplain, but was a Marine infantry officer for 7 years prior to putting on the cross. All of the services now have their chaplain schools co-located here at Ft Jackson, so I was able to ask him about ODS and switching over to the Navy. He told me to make an appointment to see him in a few days, and he would have some answers for me.

When I came back a few days later, he informed me that I would have to attend ODS, as only former Navy officers - or those Marine officers who attended the Naval Academy - can get a pass on going through the course. Then he dropped a bombshell by saying that if I wanted, he could get me into the next ODS class (starting in 10 days!) and then back down here for the NCBC class in September! To say that I was surprised would be a vast understatement, but I quickly agreed. I quickly began informing my Army chain of command of my intent, which was met with some good-natured jabs, but mostly with an understanding that this is what the Lord has called me to do.

A couple of days later, as I was following up on this new course of action, I was informed that the Navy had used up all its quotas for active duty chaplains, so there was no way I could be accessioned by the board this fiscal year. So, now I'm basically back to where I was before. My packet is all set to go before the board, but now it will have to wait until October, when the new fiscal year begins. Assuming I'm accepted by them, I'll be commissioned in mid-October, then will have to wait until early January 2011 to go to ODS, and then on to NCBC in February. After I complete NCBC I'll be assigned to a fleet unit - hopefully with a Marine battalion somewhere.

In the meantime, I'm somewhat relieved to not have to jump through a series of hoops in a short period of time, and glad that I can stay here and finish the class with the friends I've made. And, since the armed forces is moving toward ever more joint operations, I'm sure that I'll be seeing some of my classmates down the road at some point. And with two chaplain schools under my belt, I'll be about the best-trained chaplain out there!

Ordination + Graduation = Celebration!

2010-08-08T18:15:00.000-07:00

I realize that this post is horribly out of date - that the events listed occurred several months back. In my defense, I must offer up the fact that I have been extremely busy over that time with making sure that these events were in fact going to occur, and have been diligently preparing for the life changes that will come about as a result.

That said, here's the skinny:

On May 22nd, an Ordination Council was convened at our church. I was fortunate to be able to select those individuals who would play a part, and so had a number of good friends there to evaluate me on my capabilities. I had prepared my Statement of Faith well beforehand, and a copy was given to the 12 council members. Then, for the next 3 hours, we went page by page through my statement, pausing after each section for them to ask questions of me. Somewhat surprisingly, there was not much in the way of doctrinal questions, as most of the queries involved the practical application of what I professed to real world situations. I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, as talking about what I believe comes naturally to me.

After the questions were through, Tamara & I were sent out while the council deliberated and then voted. We were called back in a short while later to find that the vote had been unanimous - I was to be ordained as a minister in the Baptist General Conference!

Several days later, on May 26th (also my anniversary), I was officially ordained during the evening service at our church. Our pastor, Craig Harrison, explained the process of ordination and then called me up on stage to interview me. After this, I was given the mike and made some remarks of my own before being presented with my certificate. One of the most powerful parts of the ceremony came after this, when family and friends came up on stage to lay hands on Tamara and me and pray for our future ministry.

As thrilling as the ordination was, I was still busy with school and with finishing up my final round of classes. Those of you who know me know about the trials and tribulations that have come with my attempts to learn Greek, and this final quarter was no exception. I was in the middle of Intermediate Greek and it seemed as though I was just keeping my head above water. I eventually took my final exam, and even though I didn't score very well (I think I got a 55%), it was enough to earn me a C- for the course. Not one of my better grades, but as they say, "C's get degrees!"

I ended up with a 3.26 GPA, which is much better than I did in college, and no doubt expresses the seriousness with which I am undertaking my new profession as a chaplain and minister of God's word.

Finally, on June 12th, Bethel Seminary held its commencement exercise at College Avenue Baptist Church in San Diego. My folks flew out for the graduation, as did my oldest brother Tim, which was quite a welcome surprise for us. It was a great feeling of accomplishment, as it was the result of four years of hard work and sacrifice - both in terms of time and finances.

The day after graduation Tamara & I left for a well-deserved vacation while Mom & Dad willingly looked after Rachel & Dash. We took the train up to Santa Barbara and spent several days up there relaxing and sightseeing. What a gorgeous area! We had booked our stay at the Doubletree Resort, and due to a minor mishap were offered a free upgrade -- to a ginormous suite overlooking the beach! We were so thrilled with our new accommodations that we had to call back and see if we could have an extra day to enjoy ourselves, which was graciously given.

So, May and June will stand out in my memory as transformative months - from student to pastor, from struggles to success. We humbly give God the glory for the great things He has done, and we look forward with eager anticipation to see where He will guide us from here.

Another Answer to Prayer

2010-05-14T02:29:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, we've been struggling with finances over the past several months ever since I was laid off by the California National Guard back in October. Thankfully, the Lord has continued to provide for us in unexpected ways so that we have always managed to have enough to meet our needs.

One example of that occurred yesterday.

Back in October, I had filed for unemployment insurance right away, but was unable to complete the application as I had not yet received my DD214 (discharge papers) from the Guard at that time. The agent told me not to worry, that I could call back when I got them and my claim would be processed with the original filing date. I finally received my DD214 in December, and immediately tried to complete my application - only to be told that they had no record of any previous filing and that my "start date" for benefits would be that day - nearly two months later. I was told that I could appeal their decision, which I did.

Other issues came up around Christmas, as several unemployment forms (the first they had sent me) arrived the day after we left for Virginia to spend Christmas with our family. After our return, I dutifully sent in the forms, only to be told that they had arrived after the two-week period had ended, so no benefits were payable for the month of November. When an agent called to find out why I had been late sending them in, I explained that I had been traveling and was unable to receive my mail during that time. Unfortunately, I used the term "vacation," which must've signaled to her that I was either unwilling or unable to look for and/or accept work during the two weeks I was gone. Thus, more appeals had to be filed.

What I did not realize was the the unemployment department apparently has a policy not to pay ANY benefits as long as there is a pending appeal - which meant that I would not receive any money until I could have my day in court and get these matters cleared up. That day finally rolled around on April 27th, and I went down to San Diego to appear before an administrative law judge to present my side of the story on these three separate appeals. After presenting all of my evidence, I was told that a decision would be made and sent to me - but no indication of how soon that would happen.

Fast forward to Wednesday night. Tamara and I are getting ready for bed, and are discussing our financial situation and some upcoming bills that need to be paid. Ever the wise woman, she suggests that we take a moment to pray about it. We do - trusting in God to provide for our needs and asking Him to continue to fill our little jar of oil.

The next day (yesterday), the mail arrives - and in the pile is a large manila envelope from the San Diego Appeals Board. I rip it open and begin to read the documents, soon skipping ahead to the DECISION paragraph at the bottom of each appeal. In each of the appeals, the result was the same:

"The department determination is reversed. The claimant is eligible for benefits..." Benefits are payable, provided the claimant is otherwise eligible."

Now, not only will we begin to receive our monthly benefits, but we will also be receiving all of the moneys owed to us backdated to October 11th - the date that I originally filed the claim. At $1800/mo. x 7 months, that adds up to quite a lot of back pay! More than enough to carry us through until my chaplain school begins in July, and enough to allow us to take care of some car & house repairs that had been put on hold.

Please take a moment to thank God with us for his miraculous provision, and for His continued reminder that He cares for us deeply.

Adonai IS Semper Fi!!

In other news, please keep these dates on your calendar:
May 22nd - My ordination council meets from 0900-1200.
May 26th - Ordination Service at Gateway Church at 1900.
June 12th - Bethel Seminary San Diego graduation at 1000.

More Sketches

2010-04-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's a few more caricatures I've done over the years:

This one was done for the retirement of Col. Spencer - a good friend of mine and the leader of the Officer Christian Fellowship at Camp Pendleton for many years. As you can see, he's leaving the 2-star headquarters where he worked to pursue his love of surfing & fishing. I thought about having him wearing a tropical-themed swimsuit, but decided that that would probably demean the uniform. This was probably the first one I did for an individual, and I think it's probably my best work in terms of what he actually looks like.

This one was done for a good buddy of mine, Capt. Phill Bragg. He's now been selected for Lieutenant Colonel and is the acting Regimental XO for 11th Marines. Here, he was the CO of Romeo Btry, 5th Bn, 11th Marines and had just returned from OIF. Note the old-school M198 howitzer (the Marines now use the M777 Light Towed Howitzer) as well as the frosty pint of Guinness (for strength!).

This one was done in Germany for the Staff Judge Advocate at MARFOREUR. I think I overdid it on his neck length, though. If you click on the picture and enlarge it you can read the book titles.

This is one of my favorites, and also the one that took the longest to do. "Lex" is the host of Neptunus Lex, and I've been privileged to meet him on a handful of occasions. When he posted something on his blog about retiring a few years back, I figured that this was the least I could do for him since I had been enjoying his website so much over the years. As it happened, I was able to come to his retirement party at an Irish pub in San Diego and present it to him in person. The toughest part was surreptitiously finding current unit's patch (all the others are on his site) and then getting all the details right, even down to the "piddle pack" behind his ejection seat!

This last one is also my most recent, presented just yesterday. Eric Knowlton is an old friend of mine - we went through The Basic School together as 2nd Lieutenants back in 1994-95. While I was going through artillery school at Ft. Sill, I got a request from Eric wondering if some of us would be able to drive down to Dallas to do the sword arch for his wedding. That was the last I'd seen or heard from him until I ran into him at the Miramar PX a few months ago, where I learned that he was the Maintenance Officer for the new V-22 Osprey squadron. Last Friday, I took him up on his offer to show me around and brought the family down to the squadron. Eric was an excellent tour guide, and took us all out to the flightline and let Rachel and Dash climb up inside one of the Ospreys and look around. He then took us over to the simulator building and let us each take turns "flying" one of them around San Diego. As a token of my appreciation, I drew this for him and presented it to him yesterday afternoon.

Sketches

2010-04-15T02:01:00.000-07:00

I've always loved to draw. Ever since I was a kid, I would draw whenever I got the chance. Usually, that ended up being in class - where the teachers were none too impressed with my budding artistic talents. Later, I would go on to major in graphic design in college, even though I knew that it would have little bearing on my chosen career as a Marine officer.

However, I was soon to discover that everyone appreciates someone who can draw. Even in my profession as an artilleryman, I found that my terrain sketches were admired - not just because of how nice they looked, but because anyone could pick them up and immediately identify the various targets and reference points because they matched the terrain in front of them. Also, I found myself in constant demand to do t-shirts, coins, tattoos, etc. for the various units I was a part of. I even painted a few murals that are still up at Fort Sill and outside the T-Hutte in MARFOREUR headquarters.

My first effort into doing caricatures occurred during my second deployment. One of my buddies had asked me to do one of him, and it quickly evolved into a large drawing that involved all of the principal staff and officers in our Battalion Landing Team. It got so popular that people would come by my stateroom to see it and provide suggestions on how I should draw some of their buddies. By the end of the float, everyone wanted a copy, so I ended up going to Kinko's and making a bunch of color copies and then hand-colored each one so it looked pretty close to the original. I then sold 'em for $20 apiece, and I think I made somewhere around $400 or so.

Several years later, I began doing these sorts of sketches on an individual basis - either for retirements or end-of-tour gestures. I also did a few on my own of some of the well-known figures in Marine Corps lore.

Here's one of legendary Marine Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, 5 time recipient of the Navy Cross:

Here's the original source photo that provided the inspiration:

I also did another one of Major General Smedley Butler, well-known to legions of Marines as being the only officer to ever be awarded two Medals of Honor for two separate acts of valor:

Sadly, both of these original drawings have disappeared; probably stuck in some forgotten folder somewhere. Fortunately, I was smart enough to scan them into my computer before they lost themselves in the depths of my file drawer.

I guess that's enough for now - I'll post more of them later when I have a bit more time.

8 Simple Words

2010-04-08T00:48:00.000-07:00

Today I received some rather surprising news.

I have a friend whom I've only met but once. He and I frequent the same blog, and over the years we've become "regulars" on there. Several months ago, I received an email from him, asking if I was up for some counseling as he was in need of some help.

My reply? "Sure thing - what can I do you for?"

8 Simple words.

I sent my message back, sent a follow-up email with my phone number in case he wanted to call, and promptly forgot about it. Waited to hear back from him. Never did.
I wondered if maybe he'd gotten help somewhere else or had reconsidered his request.

Oh well, I thought, I guess I wasn't much help to him.

Several months later, I heard from him again, this time expressing gratitude for my help. "What help?" I thought to myself. I didn't do anything - just made an offer, which was apparently declined.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was corresponding with him, and casually asked what had been going on that had prompted his original request, and his later expression of thanks.

"It was suicide," he told me. "You were there. That was enough. That was just enough."

Life and death just an email apart.

8 simple words: "Sure thing - what can I do you for?"

Sometimes the times where we think we're the least effective turn out to have the biggest impact.

No, I didn't do anything. But I was there when he needed someone.

And in the end, that was enough.

Combat Medical Ministry

2010-03-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

So I just spent the last two weeks in San Antonio, at the Brookes Army Medical Center (or BAMC, pronounced "bam-see") which is to be renamed San Antonio Military Medical Center - North (or, you guessed it, SAMMC - or "sam-see"). In a rare cooperative effort between the medical corps and chaplain corps, they run a course for chaplains and their assistants to train us to provide ministry and pastoral care to severely injured patients as well as to their family members.

Much of the time was spent in the classroom, learning about trauma, crisis, grief, resiliency, and a host of other things. There were 31 of us in attendance - 18 chaplains and 13 assistants, with a fair mix of genders and ethnicities. Active duty, Reserve and National Guard. Some (like myself) who have yet to pin on the cross, others who were only recently commissioned, and still others who have served for many years and completed several deployments "downrange" in Iraq or Afghanistan.

I would love to share some highlights, but am unsure as to what would be appropriate, given both the medical/chaplain confidentiality. Suffice to say that I dealt with patients who had cancer, were burn survivors, were involved in horrific vehicle accidents, or who were dealing with thoughts of death - some by their own hand, other by the ravages of time.

It is a precious thing to be with someone in their moment of crisis - to hold their hand as their eyes widen in fear and confusion, to ask if you can pray with them as they eagerly nod, tears forming in their eyes. To finally leave, entrusting their care to the medical staff yet knowing that their life is in the hands of the Almighty. Feeling frustrated that you could not do more, yet knowing that you did your best.

I'm not sure that I would choose to be a hospital chaplain - such assignments can have a way of taking their toll on the caregiver - but this course confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that the chaplaincy is where I am called to serve.

Goin' Navy

2010-03-06T00:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm now in the midst of putting my package together for the Navy chaplaincy. Just stopped by the recruiter's office yesterday to drop off my Application for Commission & my resume so that he can submit my name to be "scrolled," which apparently is some sort of pre-approval for the later commissioning to take place. Can take 2-3 months, so I'm told.

I also completed the 18-page SF-86 National Security Questionnaire, which is a very detailed document that requires you to list all residences, jobs, friends, family, etc. for the past 7-10 years. Required in order to receive a security clearance. Finished the whole thing only to find out that it probably isn't going to be necessary, since I had a Single Scope Background Investigation done back 2003 for my Top Secret clearance. Even though the TS clearance expires after 5 years, it then reverts to a Secret clearance for another five - so I should be good through 2013. Still, I wish my recruiter had told me that *before* I filled out the form...

Most of the rest of the forms I need depend on someone else - references, recommendations, transcripts, etc. So for now I just have to bide my time and hope that the individuals concerned complete these things in a timely manner. And, I've got enough homework due in the next few weeks to keep me quite busy, thankyouverymuch.

Still, it's nice to see things coming together.

Boasting in Weakness

2010-02-18T00:39:00.000-08:00

Here is a study of II Corinthians 11:15-29 that I preached on this evening:

Background: The Corinthian church had been infiltrated by false teachers who were challenging both Paul’s personal integrity and his authority as an apostle. While it’s hard to say exactly who his opponents were, they were very likely Jewish Christians who disagreed with some element of Paul’s teaching and who were attempting to sway the church by discrediting Paul in his absence. They had accused him both of stealing the money they had sent for Jerusalem as well as claiming that his word was untrustworthy.

Paul defends himself against these charges, and in the last few chapters of the letter he addresses both the false teachers as well as those who have been led astray by them. Since they apparently are swayed by “outward appearances,” Paul resorts to “boasting,” though clearly this is not his preferred method:

"I repeat: Let no one take me for a fool. But if you do, then receive me just as you would a fool, so that I may do a little boasting. In this self-confident boasting I am not talking as the Lord would, but as a fool. since many are boasting in the way the world does, I too will boast. You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face. To my shame I admit that we were too weak for that!

What anyone else dares to boast about - I am speaking as a fool - I also dare to boast about. Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they Abraham's descendants? So am I. Are they servants of Christ? (I am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles, in danger in the city, in danger in the country in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and i do not inwardly burn?

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness."

Weakness isn’t exactly a very popular subject – especially here in America. We tend to praise the ones who have overcome some difficulty, who have pulled themselves up by the bootstraps or otherwise made themselves strong. In the Marine Corps, weakness was seen as the enemy – a common slogan at the gym was “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” If you’re watching the Olympics right now, you see young men and women from all over the world who are at the peak of their physical abilities competing to see who is the best. But behind these stories of success and victory, there is often an element of weakness or inability that makes the story more powerful.

Drew Brees is a great example that our pastor shared about a few weeks ago – extensive damage to his shoulder, but he persevered and is now sporting a Super Bowl ring on that hand. At the New Orleans press conference before the big game, Drew was asked about overcoming adversity.

He said, “The injury happened in the last game of the 2005 season, my fifth year in San Diego in which I did not have a contract after that. All of a sudden here I am thrust into free agency two months after a right shoulder dislocation, which I was told by some doctors that I had a 25 percent chance of coming back and ever playing. Only two teams were interested in me in free agency to be the starting quarterback – Miami and New Orleans. That was a defining moment in my life and one that brought me to New Orleans with a sense that this is a calling for me, an opportunity that I have to not only come to a city and be a part of the rebuilding of the organization, city, community and region. This was an opportunity that really doesn’t come along for most people in their lifetime, and yet here it is staring me in the face. So it was much more than football and I felt it was destiny that God put me there for a reason. At times, God is going to put you in a position to wonder why this is happening to me or to us, and yet you know it’s happening for a reason. It’s there to make you stronger and to give the opportunity to accomplish something later on – and here we are.”

So what is weakness?

An inability to do something; a lack of strength; things that are beyond our control or influence.

Why would Paul boast about his weaknesses?

Paul boasts about the things that are out of his control, because it opens the way for him to experience the strength of God’s grace.

How do we boast about our weaknesses?

It means that we learn the lessons that God intends for us throughout our period of weakness and share our stories with others as a means of encouragement and to point them towards God’s strength and sufficiency.

Personal example:

I lost my job with the Guard last October, yet God is providing for us financially. Specifically, in the past week we’ve received:

- $2900 from National Guard selling back leave days that were thought to be lost.

- Over $10,000 in tax refunds.

- $7500 from someone we’ve never met who runs a charitable endowment and heard about our situation from a friend.

Did I do anything to earn this $20,000 gift? Well, maybe the taxes… but the point is that all of this came about at a time when I could do nothing for myself – when it was all we could do just to pay our bills each month and wonder if I would be able to stay in school and graduate this June. I was weak financially, and there were no good prospects on the horizon that indicated any kind of change. So am I boasting now? Well, yes – but it’s not about me. Instead, it’s about pointing to God and showing how He works in the midst of our weakness and inability. And when God makes us strong, He does so in order that we can help those around us who are weak. In our case, we were able to help provide scholarships for our church's Men’s Retreat and Youth Retreat.

So here’s what I want to leave you with, gentle readers:

- Weakness in some area is an opportunity to see God’s strength and faithfulness.

- Weakness causes us to turn to God and renews our faith in Him.

- The blessings and experiences we gain from our weakness enables us to support and encourage others.

Your challenge: Identify at least one area of “weakness” in your life and pray that the Lord will teach you what He wants you to learn so that your faith may be strengthened and it may be added to your testimony.

GOD IS RARELY EARLY, NEVER LATE & ALWAYS ON TIME

Thoughts on Forgiveness

2010-02-05T22:37:00.000-08:00

I've been having another discussion over on Neptunus Lex, this one dealing with the nature of salvation and forgiveness. This is interesting, as it comes close on the heels of my having recently finished a book by Andrew Farley titled The Naked Gospel which profoundly challenged my thinking on the matter.

I won't go into all the issues the book talks about, but the one that caught my attention was his section called "Cheating on Jesus" that deals with the subject of forgiveness.

The issue at stake here – and it is a major one – is whether or not we are saved by grace, by keeping the law, or by some curious mix of the two. If it is by grace, then we must confront what it means to be truly forgiven by God.

Under the old covenant (Abraham, Noah, Moses - up until Jesus’ death) righteousness was obtained through keeping the Law. If one sinned, the shedding of blood in the form of animal sacrifice was required to bring about atonement, for “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22). This had to be done continually. They believed that being Jewish (God’s chosen people) was what made them part of God’s family, and that keeping the Law was what *kept* them in His family. If you didn’t keep the law, you were outside the faith.

With Jesus’ death, his shed blood provided the perfect sacrifice for all of humanity – there was now a means by which I could be made right with God, if only I avail myself of the grace (gratia) that He has freely (gratis) provided. This offering on our behalf was a “once for all” proposition – Hebrews 9:25-26 tells us, “Nor did he enter heaven to offer himself again and again, the way the high priest enters the Most Holy Place every year with blood that is not his own. Otherwise Christ would have had to suffer many times since the creation of the world. But he has appeared once for all at the culmination of the ages to do away with sin by the sacrifice of himself.” A few verses later we are told that “Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those that eagerly await him.”

The message of the cross is that my past, present and future sins have already been forgiven when I put my faith in Christ. That’s it. There’s no more forgiveness that’s going to be poured out – the full measure was already given 2000+ years ago. Do you still ask God to forgive you when you fall short or fail from time to time? If so, why? What good does your asking do when the act has already been done? It’s like me asking my wife to marry me each evening before we go to bed – my continual asking doesn’t change our marital status one whit. You’re either forgiven – and live in a continual state of forgiveness as a believer – or you’re not. No middle ground that I can see. Attempting to add some works-based efforts on our part only serves to return us to bondage under the law.

So let me ask you this: If you're a Christian, and you commit a sin, what is your standing before God? If you die before you confess that sin, where do you go? I don't believe that my sin (as a believer) separates me from God or breaks my fellowship with Him. If the Spirit lives in me - if I am supernaturally fused with him in my soul - how can I be separated from what is now part of myself? This does not mean that I am free to sin - Paul makes that quite clear several times - but the struggle between my godly nature and my flesh has no bearing on my salvation.

According to Dr. Doug Moo, “genuine faith…always and inevitably produces evidence of its existence in a life of righteous living.” This is what James is talking about when he writes of the necessity of works as a natural result of one’s faith. Yet even though this is (or should be) the natural process of regeneration that follows true conversion, it is not in itself a necessity for salvation. Recall the criminal who was crucified on the cross next to Jesus – where were his “good works?” He had faith, and that was enough. To add works as a requirement for salvation is to return to the Law that governed the Israelites under Moses – and we have been set free from that law through the shed blood of Christ.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that I don’t understand why people ask for forgiveness. I do; I did it for years. Confession is one thing; in confessing, we essentially agree with God that we are sinners and that we still do wrong things. But usually this is followed by asking for forgiveness, which makes sense in human relationships where a rift has been torn, fellowship has been broken, and forgiveness is necessary to repair/restore the relationship.

With regards to us and God, I don’t believe that last step is necessary, at least from His point of view. Oh, we may still do it, and I don’t think it bothers him that we do – but I think it would be a mistake to think that our asking for forgiveness suddenly brings down this rain of grace, as though God were holding it back until we asked for it.

The danger is that over time, we get into this pattern of confession/asking for forgiveness, and think that it’s the only way that we can get our slate “wiped clean” with God. We take what may be an understandable (yet wholly unnecessary) practice and elevate it to a necessity – to the point where we feel as though we’re not forgiven unless we’ve asked God for forgiveness. Now that quaint little habit begins growing into a millstone around our necks, and we preach to others that they should keep “short accounts” with God – as though He’s up there tracking our every sin and tallying it up on a celestial scorecard.

What I’m proposing isn’t really all that radical – it’s what Paul & the writer of Hebrews preached nearly two millenia ago:

Salvation by faith.

Forgiveness from God.

Freedom in Christ.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” -Ephesians 2:8-9

PRAISE GOD!

2010-01-16T23:28:00.000-08:00

My last post was about God's provision and how He's been taking care of us over the past several months after I lost my job with the National Guard. Since that time, we have continued to be overwhelmed with the way God has continued to answer our prayers, in ways great and small. This was made abundantly clear to us after a few phone calls we received this morning.

The first was from my wife's brother. He's a Navy officer, and is in the spiritual process of what I call "searching." His wife was raised in the Lutheran church, and he's begun going with her fairly recently - maybe in the last few years. Their talk this morning had a lot to do with the what the Bible says and the differences between various denominations. Ultimately, he decided, he would just have to read the Bible for himself.

This is huge.

When we first moved out here to California back in 2006, one of our prayers was that we would be able to have a spiritual influence on Tamara's family, of whom only her mom really professes to be a Christian. In the last year, we've seen her dad read the Bible from cover to cover, her sister has begun talking with her daughter about Christianity, and now her brother is asking questions! Praise God!

The second call we got was from a friend of mine in Palm Springs. He had heard about our situation last year and had already sent us some money. Awhile back he told me about a friend/patient of his who runs a low-key endowment program and asked me to write up my experiences so he could talk to him about me. He met with him yesterday, told him about who I was, what I was going through and what my goals were, and the fellow told him to "set it up" and he would contribute to it. We don't yet know the exact dollar amount, but we were told it would likely be at least $10,000.

Naturally, when my friend told me this, I was absolutely floored. I had no response that could adequately describe my amazement and joy at this news. It's like the woman sweeping her house looking for her lost coin, and instead she finds a huge diamond. When I told him that I didn't know what to say, he said, "Just say 'Praise God!'"

PRAISE GOD!!!

And now you know why I chose the title for my blog - because Adonai truly IS Semper Fi!

God's Provision

2009-12-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

Since I wrote my last post, we have continued to see God's hand at work in taking care of our needs financially. He has provided several friends, colleagues and family members who have graciously contributed several thousand dollars in either gifts or loans that have enabled us to remain current on our mortgage as well as take care of several other outstanding bills.

Yesterday and today I received notification that the 20.5 days of leave that I had lost last year under similar circumstances had been recouped and sold - so we will receive several thousand dollars more by the end of next week. This is in addition to the 20.5 days of leave I have from this year that I am also in the process of selling back. Today I was also told that my DD-214 (discharge papers) would be finalized and send out next week as well, which will finally enable me to receive unemployment benefits. To top it off, today we unexpectedly received a check for $500 to use towards our expenses. Thank you, God!

All of this will see us through the month of December, and by early next year I will be receiving both Army Tuition Assistance money as well as the quarterly disbursement of my student loan funds, which should carry us on for a few more months. This will provide more time to look for a job without having the added burden of wondering how the bills will get paid now.

When I met this morning for coffee and prayer with some friends, we talked about how the Lord's Prayer reminds us to pray for "our daily bread." We don't ask for enough to last us through next week, or next year - but only enough for today. This requires us to continuously return to God (at least) on a daily basis to ask Him to graciously continue to meet our daily needs.

I am both awed and humbled to see that God is continuing to remain true to His promise to care for His children. Awed by the way in which He has used people to respond to our needs, and humbled by the fact that it is often so hard to trust Him - to truly put one's faith into action.

Although I've been in seminary for the last three years and will soon earn my Master of Divinity degree, I am convinced that the most important lessons will have been learned outside of the classroom.

I feel like I'm getting a Ph.D in faith-building, and it's all practical application.

Joy in the Midst of Suffering

2009-11-25T00:56:00.000-08:00

Wow. It has seriously been a long time since I've posted anything. Not surprising, really - given all that's been going on these last several months. Allow me to elaborate:

Way back in January, when I had my accident, I was forced to withdraw from or extend most of my seminary classes - there was simply no way that I could keep up my studies while undergoing intensive physical therapy several times a week. Nevermind the fact that I was in a wheelchair and on some type of pain medication for much of the time. Thus, instead of graduating in June 2009, I would extend my schedule and complete my degree by the summer of 2010. So far, so good.

As for work (and income), I had been on Active Duty Special Work (ADSW) orders with the California National Guard since March 2008 doing officer recruiting for them. My history with them over the last year or so has been... well, interesting, to say the least. After an unexplained break in my orders from Nov 08 - Jan 09, I was given one more set of orders from 26 Jan - 28 Feb 09. As I was led to understand, the state would not be renewing my orders, but I would be able to continue doing my job, only I would be under the auspices of the National Guard Bureau, which oversees all the national recruiting programs.

However, a week into my new orders, I went and got myself hurt, which totally threw a wrench into the well-oiled machine that is the National Guard. *smirk*

As I lay recuperating in the hospital, my boss called my wife to see how I was doing. After chatting for a few minutes, Tamara shared with him her concern about how my orders were due to expire in a few weeks, and what would we do then? "Don't worry," he assured her, "we'll take care of him and keep him on orders for as long as he needs so he can continue to receive a paycheck and get medical care." And, true to his word, that's exactly what happened - until September rolled around.

I had been receiving 30-day orders at the end of every month that extended me for the following month (why they chose to do it this way, I have no idea). At the same time, they were working on enrolling me in the Active Duty Medical Extension (ADME) program - sort of a Wounded Warriors unit - that would keep me on orders until I was well and fully fit for duty again. Although the ADME process was only supposed to take 2 weeks to accomplish, they somehow managed to drag it out until sometime in early October. The completed packet wasn't sent to the medical board until October 8th, over 8 months from the date of my accident.

Anywho, around the last week of September, I start expecting to see a new set of orders show up in my inbox. When none appear, I start calling the folks up at HQ in Sacramento to see what's going on. Unsurprisingly, I am unable to reach anyone on the phone, nor do I get any response to my emails (this lack of communication had been endemic ever since I began working there). Finally, on October 8th I managed to get in touch with the new head recruiter at HQ who had taken over for my old boss. She informs me that my orders had ended on September 30th (duh) and that they wouldn't be renewed (what?!?). The reason I was given was that there had been budget cuts, and that I was just dead weight who was just sucking up their limited financial resources while not adding anything to their bottom line (Ok, maybe she didn't actually say it in those words, but that was the distinct impression I received).

To put it bluntly, unless there was some regulation that required them to keep me on orders, they weren't gonna do it. Period.

We went 'round and 'round on that point, but it was a battle I couldn't win. The rules, such as they are, were worded in such a way as to allow various interpretations - depending on who's doing the reading. And the budget-conscious folks at HQ weren't going to be very liberal in interpreting them in any way that would be favorable to yours truly.

So there I am, just now learning that my last paycheck was over a week ago and that I'm on my own as far as finances are concerned.

"But wait," you say, "what about that ADME packet that was finally submitted?"

Ah yes, thanks for reminding me. My last hope - to be transitioned over to a medical unit that would be able to continue to pay my wages while helping me down the road to full recovery. Surely the good folks on the medical board will see all the evidence and clear the way for me to be admitted to this program, right?

Umm, no. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

On November 18th, over a month after submitting the packet (and 9 1/2 months after my accident, for those of you who're counting), I learned that my request had been denied. I still haven't received official notification of the fact, so I have no idea what they based their decision on.

So now I'm six weeks out from my last paycheck, I have no real job prospects, and I can't even file for unemployment since the Guard hasn't seen fit to send me my discharge papers. The bills are piling up, my family healthcare has been cut off, we're having to apply for food stamps, and to top it off I'm struggling to get through a Greek Exegesis class that I'm woefully unprepared for since I had to drop out of Intermediate Greek earlier in the year.

So how do I feel?

Joyful.

Yes, you heard it right - despite all that's occurred, fairly or unfairly, my response is one of joy.

How can this be? Well for starters, I still have a lot to be thankful for. I'm alive, when the accident could've easily have been fatal. I'm recovering, when I could be crippled or worse. I'm not in pain, when it could be chronic. I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful kids when I could be alone in all of this.

But more than that, I have joy because of who I am in Christ. I'm his child, deeply loved by Him, and nothing can take that away, according to Romans 8:38-39. I am where He has put me, doing the work He has given me to do, and my strength comes from Him. Because of this, I can join Paul in saying, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:12-13)

A Late Post about Michael Moore

2009-11-07T00:31:00.000-08:00

Awhile back, a friend of ours sent me an email containing a message that Michael Moore had posted on his website in support of his movie "Capitalism: A Love Story." Here's an excerpt:

"Friends,
I'd like to have a word with those of you who call yourselves Christians (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Bill Maherists, etc. can read along, too, as much of what I have to say, I'm sure, can be applied to your own spiritual/ethical values).

I have come to believe that there is no getting around the fact that capitalism is opposite everything that Jesus (and Moses and Mohammed and Buddha) taught. All the great religions are clear about one thing: It is evil to take the majority of the pie and leave what's left for everyone to fight over. Jesus said that the rich man would have a very hard time getting into heaven. He told us that we had to be our brother's and sister's keepers and that the riches that did exist were to be divided fairly. He said that if you failed to house the homeless and feed the hungry, you'd have a hard time finding the pin code to the pearly gates.

At the same time, Wall Street bankers ("Blessed Are the Wealthy"?) are amassing more and more loot -- and they do their best to pay little or no income tax (last year Goldman Sachs' tax rate was a mere 1%!). Would Jesus approve of this? If not, why do we let such an evil system continue? It doesn't seem you can call yourself a Capitalist AND a Christian -- because you cannot love your money AND love your neighbor when you are denying your neighbor the ability to see a doctor just so you can have a better bottom line. That's called "immoral" -- and you are committing a sin when you benefit at the expense of others."

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I wrote an email response to our friend, but then thought that if I really wanted to argue against Moore's film, I should probably go to see it first. But how could I justify paying $11.50 to Michael Moore when he clearly is against capitalism, and would certainly not want to take my hard-earned money? The solution was simple: I paid to see another movie, then snuck in later to watch his as well. Moral crisis averted. I also brought a small notebook so I could recall exactly what he was saying.

But before I get to his film, I'd like to answer some of the questions he raises in his letter. First, his initial few questions strike me as a flawed premise. Is there something inherently “sinful” in creating something people want and then selling it to them at a profit? Did he and Joseph just give their stuff away? As for what form of economy & government Jesus would approve of, I think we’re trying to read too much into his purpose and goals. Jesus was apolitical – but he did tell the Pharisees to “Give to Caesar what is Caesar's,” so he at least recommended supporting whatever government one found themselves under. As far as capitalism goes, I’m sure Jesus would be against many of the excesses, but probably not the system as a whole.

I think he’s less concerned about economic systems than he is about attitudes of the heart. If your sole aim is money and you’re consumed by greed and lust for wealth, I don’t think he’d be happy with you regardless of how fair your business practices were. In theory, communism was supposed to be an egalitarian society based on common ownership of property & production – and we’ve seen how that system eventually imploded after only 70 years of practice.

As for the Bible, Michael distorts different passages and takes them out of context. Why did Jesus say what he did to the rich young ruler? Was it simply because he was wealthy? Or did he know that great wealth creates a feeling of self-sufficiency that can cause one to rely one oneself to the exclusion of God? Was it about his physical possessions or the attitude of his heart? As the saying goes, “When a man becomes rich, God either receives a great deal of money or loses a man.”

Michael mentions that “It is evil to take the majority of the pie and leave what's left for everyone to fight over.” This sounds noble enough on the surface, but what pie is he talking about? Are resources so limited that if I make a million dollars I’m somehow “robbing” others of some of that money? And I’m sorry, but I’ve never read the passage where Jesus says that all riches are to be divided fairly – maybe someone could point that one out for me. Again with the homeless & hungry, Jesus is talking about compassion – an attitude of the heart – and not about a form of government and/or an individual’s ability to gain wealth.

He probably has some good points to make in examining corporate greed and the unethical practices that many investment firms followed which led to the economic quagmire that we are now swimming in. But he loses me when he tries to take that big picture and narrow it down to you and me. I’m not denying anyone their healthcare, nor am I benefiting at the expense of anyone else.

The part that gets me the most – the pill that I have a hard time swallowing – is where he declares that he intends “to do what I can to stop this evil.” Considering that his personal net worth is somewhere north of $50 million – what exactly is he going to do? Is he going to give his money away to those who need it more than he does? Is he going to move to France as a means of protest against “evil America?” He’s not exactly known for his philanthropy – according to Peter Schweizer’s book "Do As I Say (Not As I Do): Profiles in Liberal Hypocrisy," he found that "for a man who by 2002 had a net worth in eight figures, he gave away a modest $36,000 through the foundation, much of it to his friends in the film business or tony cultural organizations that later provided him with venues to promote his books and film."

As for the movie itself, it was another example of Moore's well-known pseudo-documentary style of film-making. That is, he claims he is making a documentary, but he takes clips out of context and edits them in such a way as to support his bias, instead of presenting the facts as they are and letting his audience draw their own conclusions. Basically, it fits the definition of propaganda.

This is not to say that he doesn't have any good points to make - he does - but they're buried in all the other rubbish. For instance, he points out the pitiful wages that airline pilots make these days and how some of them are on welfare or getting food stamps to make ends meet. Ok, I agree that it seems pretty absurd to pay people who are doing such an important job little more than what they could earn working at Wal-Mart, but nobody's forcing them to do it. Their career is their choice - if they don't like the pay, they can always leave and find another job.

Despite Moore's religious-sounding letter, there was actually very little in the movie about the immorality of capitalism. He "interviews" three liberal Catholic priests - Father Dick Preston, who married Michael and his wife; Father Peter Dougherty, who married his sister; and Thomas John Gumbleton, a retired bishop of the Archdiocese of Detroit. The whole segment took maybe five minutes (out of two hours) and provided little in the way of enlightenment. Father Preston said that capitalism is evil, wrong and unjust - but provided nothing in the way of Biblical support for his opinions. Likewise, Dougherty said that capitalism was "radically evil" and Gumbleton quoted the "woe to the rich - blessed are the poor" passage, but neither gave any convincing argument from Scripture.

Of course, as expected he devoted a significant chunk of his film to bashing on Republicans. Reagan was portrayed as an actor endorsing various products, and Bush was presented as the master conspirator behind a national financial "coup d'etat" to undermine the economy and pass the bailout bill. No criticism was leveled at Obama, despite the fact that the bailout passed on his watch, and he was an ardent supporter of it, along with Pelosi, Reid, and others. In fact, a quick search will reveal that 60% of Democrats voted in support of the bill, while only 33% of Republicans did so.

The end of the film has Moore showing FDR's proposal in 1944 of a "2nd Bill of Rights" that would guarantee every American:

A job with a living wage
Freedom from unfair competition and monopolies
A home
Medical Care
Education
Recreation

While I agree that all of these things are good - and may in fact be necessary - they are in no way a "guaranteed right" for any of us. The key issue here is freedom of choice - if I choose to show up for work late or not finish my assignments, I may lose my job. If I do, that's my choice. Similarly, I may not want to go to college, buy a home or pay for health care - those are all choices that I make. It's not the government's job to provide any of those things for me (I for one would hate to see what government-sponsored "entertainment" looks like) - it's my job to decide for myself what I want to accomplish seek to meet my goals. The governments job should simply be to remove any unfair impediments - such as racism or sexism - that would stand in the way.

Ted Kennedy & King Manasseh: A Comparison

2009-08-27T01:46:00.000-07:00

This is not a political blog; for one, I prefer to keep my political views largely to myself. For another, there are any number of bloggers who do that for a living, and whose insightsare most likely much more profound than mine would be. Having added that little disclaimer, I noticed on one of the sites I frequent a reference to the recent death of Sen. Ted Kennedy. To my surprise, several of the initial comments were so full of hatred and vitriol that I could scarcely believe what I was reading.

Now, I can't say that I approved of Sen. Kennedy's political leanings, nor many aspects of his personal life, but far be it from me to judge the contents of his heart and speculate on where he will be spending eternity.

It reminded me of the the life of Manasseh, King of Judah, told in 2 Kings 21:1-18 and later in 2 Chronicles 33:1-20.

King Manasseh “reigned in Jerusalem 55 years” (longer than Kennedy!), and “did evil in the eyes of the LORD,” even going so far as to sacrifice his own son in the fire, as an offering to the god Molech. 2 Kings 21:16 tells us that “moreover, Manasseh also shed so much innocent blood that he filled Jerusalem from end to end.” In addition to this, the king engaged in numerous forms of idolatry; worshiping the stars, practicing divination, sorcery and witchcraft, and even building altars to other gods in the temple of the Lord.

2 Chronicles 33 continues this unholy narrative by telling us that Manasseh “did much evil in the eyes of the LORD, provoking him to anger,” and that “[he] led Judah and the people of Jerusalem astray so that they did more evil than the nations the LORD had destroyed before the Israelites.”

As a result of this, the Lord brought about his capture by the Assyrians, who “took [him] prisoner, put a hook in his nose, bound him with bronze shackles and took him to Babylon.” I suppose if the narrative stopped there, or ended with a story of his gruesome death at the hands of his captors, we might feel some sense of divine justice for the evil perpetrated by this wicked man, right?

But surprisingly, the account abruptly changes course. We read in vv. 12-13 that “In his distress he sought the favor of the LORD his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. And when he prayed to him, the LORD was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so He brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD is God.”

I won’t claim to know all that was in Ted Kennedy’s heart. But I will say that it is indeed possible that in his waning days he “sought the favor of the LORD,” as many are wont to do in the hour of their distress. And if he did, then I believe that God heard his prayers and reassured him of His great love for him.

How grateful I am that God’s love is so limitless – that He loves me abundantly and without measure, and that He pours out this love to all His sons and daughters, whether they acknowledge Him or not. For if God were as petty and capricious as I am in extending love and offering grace and mercy, what a wretched world this would be, and with what fear and trepidation would I contemplate death and eternity!

Rachel's visit to Disneyland

2009-08-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

We took our daughter to Disneyland this past weekend for her sixth birthday, and let me tell you, it was quite an experience. Even if you've been before (which I have), it's a whole different ballgame when you bring a young child on their first visit to this magical place.

First of all, I have to say that I think we made the right decision in waiting until now to take her there. Six seems about the right age for a child's first visit - they're tall enough to ride most of the rides, and old enough to not be scared of the full-size characters or the skeletons/pirates that some of the rides contain. Most importantly, they can walk - which means they don't have to be pushed or carried by mom or dad all day long.

Thanks to "Disney's Salute to the Military," we got quite a deal on our tickets and hotel room. Normally, the three-day passes would cost $179 each, but I was able to get a free ticket for myself and up to five others for only $93 apiece. We also received a 50% discount on our hotel room, which was quite nice. And being close to the monorail definitely was worth the extra bucks, as it saved us a ton of time and energy walking back and forth from the park to our hotel over two days.

Here's Rachel during the "Celebrate!" street party where she got to dance with the Disney characters. I think the look on her face says it all.

During our two-day visit, there were of course a number of memorable moments. But two stand out in my mind that pretty well summarize my daughter's character. The first occurred as we were walking around Sleeping Beauty's castle in the center of the park. I spied a character dressed as the evil queen from Snow White and asked Rachel if she wanted get her picture taken with her. She said yes so we got in line to wait our turn. When she got up there and got her picture, she turned to the queen and asked, "Is the reason you're so mean because no one gives you hugs?" The queen replied, "That could be part of it." Without hesitation, Rachel then stepped up and gave her a big hug before waving goodbye and skipping off. How cute is that?

The second memory that stands out in my mind was when we went to ride Space Mountain, Disneyland's fastest, scariest roller coaster which zips and zooms in complete darkness, save for some scattered points of light that are meant to represent stars. Ever the cautious mother, Tamara wasn't at all sure that it was a good idea, but I thought it would be okay. We loaded into our "rocket ships" with Rachel sitting next to me and Tamara behind us. As we crept up the first big hill with all the flashing lights preparing us for takeoff, Rachel could barely contain her excitement. The next moment we were plunged into darkness, spinning round and round, up and down with no clue as to what was coming next. I felt her hand squeezing mine tightly, but because of the darkness I couldn't see the expression on her face. At that point, I became a bit worried. Maybe this was too much for her. Maybe she was getting scared, or worse - nauseous. What had I done to my little girl? All my fears evaporated as we slowed down and came back into the station. With a look of pure joy, Rachel beamed up at me and exclaimed, "THAT WAS AWESOME!" So it appears that I'm not the only adrenaline junkie in the family...

Of course, one can't visit a place like Disneyland with a small child and not spend a small fortune on candy, snacks, drinks, etc. And we were no exception. Normally, like most responsible parents, we try to limit our kids' sugar intake and provide healthy alternatives - like fruit (especially strawberries & blueberries, which she loves) to satisfy the ever-present sweet tooth. Well, we made an exception this time, and I think me must've tried most of the sweet stuff they had to offer - from cotton candy to Mickey Mouse-shaped ice cream bars. Here's Rachel inside the giant sweet shop on Main St. looking like, well, a kid in a candy store. I can't remember what we bought in there, but obviously it made her very, very happy!

So that's about it. Obviously, there's much, much more to tell - princesses and fairies and Mickey and Goofy and pirates and castles... but suffice it to say that it was without a doubt her best birthday yet and Disneyland still lives up to its name as "The Happiest Place on Earth" - at least in the mind of one particular six-year-old!

Happy 6th Birthday, Rachel!

We love you!

Sex in the Bible

2009-08-03T14:23:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've ever done "book review" before, but in this case I'll make an exception. You see, I'm doing a paper for a seminary class on sex and marriage in the Old Testament and as part of my research I've been reading a book titled Sex in the Bible: A New Consideration by J. Harold Ellens. According to his biography, Dr. Ellens is "a retired Presbyterian theologian, an ordained minister, a retired U.S. Army colonel (chaplain), and a retired professor of philosophy, theology, and psychology." One would think that a person with such an impressive resume would have some worthwhile things to say on a number of theological issues, right? At least, that's what I thought - until I read his book.

Ellens' main purpose in writing this book is to point out that many Christian assumptions regarding sexuality are misguided, misunderstood or misinterpreted. He attempts to "set the record straight" on such topics as polygamy, homosexuality, adultery, and morality. So far, so good. In fact, such a work would be a welcome addition as an attempt to integrate one's faith in daily living. But Ellens goes far beyond that noble goal by injecting his own brand of morality, making assumptions that lack biblical support or evidence, and by sexualizing biblical passages that strain the credulity of any astute reader. Allow me to quote some passages from the book:

"The most interesting thing about sex in the Bible is the fact that the Bible does not moralize sex. It simply takes a matter-of-fact view of sex as a central human reality, like eating, sleeping, hunting, gathering, building, and worshipping. That is, the Bible thinks of sexuality as a common form of human creative expression. You could even say that the Bible simply thinks of sex as a valuable form of human communication and connection, and that is all there is to it."

"The Bible... assumes that sexual communion between consenting adults who have a meaningful friendship is a natural, normal, and desirable form of communication and sharing."

"The Bible... is aggressively against... promiscuous sex, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, adultery, homosexual behavior by heterosexual persons, and rape. It almost never mentions all other kinds of sexual behavior and assumes they are being practiced by humankind, universally, and are essential to life of God's Shalom: peace and prosperity. These would include sexual union within marriage, sexual communion between unmarried consenting adults within a meaningful friendship, and premarital sexuality between persons exploring the possibility of, or engaged in a potential marriage contract."

"The Bible says nothing about sexual relationship between two unmarried adults who have a meaningful friendship but do not intend engagement or marriage. The Bible assumes it is taking place in that it is normal; as natural a thing for humans to do as are any other forms of intimate communication."

The problem with these statements is that Ellens never qualifies them. That is, he never gives any biblical (or other) rationale for why he believes these things to be true - he just puts them out there and I guess we're all supposed to be persuaded by the weight of his many degrees and life experience. I will concede that the Bible does appear to be silent on the issue of premarital sex - at least in the New Testament, since the definition of "fornication" can be debated - but this hardly means that one can just "assume" that God is in favor of it. In the OT, premarital sex was analogous to marriage; that is, if you had sex with a virgin, you were obligated to marry her (Ex. 22:16, Deut. 22:28-29). There was an implied commitment with sleeping together that assumes that lifelong marriage is intended. Indeed, for a woman to be found not to be a virgin at the time of her wedding was grounds for her stoning (Deut. 22:1321), since such promiscuity was seen to be a disgraceful thing.

By contrast, Ellens seems to adopt the "silence is consent" method of morality - that is, unless something is expressly forbidden, it must be okay. He seems to conveniently overlook the fact that many of the modern moral dilemmas faced by us today have no mention in Scripture simply because such things as in-vitro fertilization, cloning, euthanasia, etc. were not envisioned by biblical writers. Other issues such as masturbation and abortion are not expressly mentioned either. This doesn't mean we can't uncover moral guidelines that pertain to these issues, but we don't necessarily look to the Bible to address them specifically. Ellens neatly sidesteps the moral quandary he may find himself in by simply referring to a lack of explicit biblical criticism, then shrugging his shoulders as if to say, "It must not matter then." As to where he gets this whole "meaningful relationship" thing - and what that means exactly - I have no idea.

One of the most preposterous statements made by Ellens is his claim that "obviously...heaven is a setting of holy promiscuity, where we shall enjoy total union with everyone who really delights us." He reaches this conclusion by recounting the story in Mark 12:18-27 where the Sadducees came to Jesus with the story about the widow and her seven husbands, asking whose wife she would be at the resurrection. Jesus replied, "when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven." Call me unenlightened, but this doesn't seem to be an "obvious" conclusion to make in this case.

I won't go into his whole chapter on homosexuality, but one claim he makes at the outset is quite telling. He says that "Recent brain tissue studies persuade us that sexual orientation is inborn and preset at conception." Since one of the key arguments in favor of legitimizing homosexuality has long been that they were merely "born that way," it is obviously in their favor to find some evidence to support this assertion. But in Ellens' case, of course, he cites no particular study to buttress this argument - he just throws it out there and hopes (again) that no one will notice his lack of scholarly support.

In case it isn't immediately obvious by now, I found this whole book to be an exercise in frustration. No doubt there are some good and healthy views to be gleaned from its pages, but they are overshadowed (in my view) by the specious claims of the author whose effort, if not his intent, is to make Christian sexuality no different from the ambiguous morality of the surrounding culture.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Margaritaville

2009-07-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

I realize that I haven't posted anything on here for quite a while, and am aware that the two people who actually read this blog must be wondering what's happened to me. Well, I'll get to that, but before I do I thought I would share with you all my personal recipe for my favorite summer drink - margaritas!

Ingredients:
2 oz. good tequila ( I prefer Sauza Hornitos)
1 oz. triple sec (or Cointreau, if you have the $)
1 oz. Midori melon liqueur
fresh lime juice (key limes are great if you can find them)
4 oz. margarita mix

Directions:
Fill a shaker with ice and add all ingredients. Shake vigorously and strain into a margarita glass (or whatever you can find). Enjoy!

Rethinking things

2009-06-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

Awhile back, I posted the reasons why I'm not a Navy chaplain. These were the answers I'd come up with back in 2006 when I first put in my paperwork to resign from the Marine Corps and accept a commission in the Army's chaplain candidate program. Given my past, and the number of years I'd served in the Corps, the reasons were valid, and I believe it was the right decision to make at the time.

Now, after three years of seminary, I've had reason to reassess and reevaluate those same reasons.

You see, according to some friends (both Army chaplains, BTW), the Army is currently at 108% for the Chaplain Corps - so they're overstrength. This is due to a number of reasons I won't get into here, but suffice it to say that they're having to take active measures to reduce their overall number. In the long run, it will mean that promotion to Major (O-4) will be more competitive, and will take longer to get there (8-9 years vs. the current 7-8 year timeframe). Also, they are instituting a new 3-year contract for newly assessed chaplains, which could mean that you get pushed out the door pretty soon after you just got started. And there's also the distinct possibility that I could get all done with school and ordination only to find out that my services aren't needed at the moment, and why don't I apply again next year?

The Navy, on the other hand, appears to be about 70 chaplains short at present, which means that - all things being equal - I would stand a much greater chance of immediately going on active duty after seminary with the Navy vice the Army. And, having spoken with a Navy chaplain (who's also a former Marine) down at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego, there wouldn't appear to be much difficulty in spending a lot of my time with the "green" side (Marines), should I choose to do so. And, the optempo for both the Navy/Marine Corps is much different - deployments run 6 or 7 months to the Army's 12. On top of all that, Tamara's family is all here in San Diego, and mine is all on the east coast - where there's an abundance of both Naval Stations and Marine Corps Bases to choose from. Heck, we could spend my entire career just on one side of the country if we wanted!

In light of these new developments, I've started to reexamine my original decision for not pursuing the Navy chaplaincy. And, I've been somewhat surprised to find that most of the reasons I posted not four months ago are no longer valid. Maybe it's the fact that I've been out of the Corps for over three years, and time has allowed me to gain some perspective. Perhaps it's the fact that I've grown in my vocational identity to the point where I would no longer be conflicted about serving with Marines. Or maybe, just maybe, God wanted to test my resolve and see if I was really willing to lay down something dear to me for His sake - only to find in the end that He gives it back to me. Kind of like Abraham being told to sacrifice Isaac in Genesis 22.

I'm still not sure what I'll do with all this information - for one thing, I'm still on medical orders with the Guard, so I won't have to make an immediate decision. But I do feel a sense of freedom about it all, as though the Lord has put it back into my hands again.

So who knows, I may end up switching services (and uniforms) yet again.

And you know what? I'd be ok with that.

Medical Update

2009-05-20T00:45:00.001-07:00

Wow, I hadn't realized that it's been over month since my last post. For those who are interested, I'll try to recap what's been going on:

Three weeks ago I had another medical procedure performed called an MUA, which stands for Manipulation Under Anesthesia. Basically, they numbed up my arm and then worked the wrist back and forth to break up all the scar tissue that had formed since the operation. By all accounts it was a success, and I was surprised to see my wrist move with something close to the flexibility it had before the accident. Now the question was, could I maintain it?

In order to take advantage of the situation, we scheduled daily therapy appointments for the next 2 1/2 weeks. Since we live 35 miles away from the naval hospital, we decided that it would be impractical to try to drive down there every day for my sessions, especially since I wasn't cleared to drive yet and my wife would have to act as my chauffeur. It would be much better if I could get a room down there and simply walk to my appointments, with the added benefit that I could get some schoolwork done down there as well.

Since I'm in the process of being transferred to the Warrior Transition Unit, or WTU, I decided to go see the unit commander there at the hospital about getting a room. After I explained my situation to him, he told me that it simply wasn't possible - the quarters were for enlisted personnel and officers weren't allowed to stay there. The nearest Bachelor Officer Quarters, he told me, were down the road at the 32nd Street Naval Station. "That's fine," I said, "but how am I going to get my appointments, since I can't drive?" "Oh," he replied, "we'll have a driver pick you up." "Ok, but how am I going to get around down there - I can't get too far on my crutches, and there's no mess hall or restaurants nearby." He had no answer for that, so he simply repeated the fact that he was sorry but no rooms were available. Too bad.

Not being one to take no for an answer, I left his office and went down to the hospital's Patient Admin office and spoke to the sailors there. They in turn called in the Chief, and I told her my story. She immediately said that she would "take care of it" and I could check-in the following Monday. Sure enough, when I arrived Monday morning she was waiting with a letter signed by the Navy commander in charge of the barracks authorizing me to stay there for the next three weeks. The Army liaison at the barracks was a little miffed that I hadn't going through "proper channels" to work my request, but a short and one-sided conversation with the Chief was enough to change his state of mind and by the time it was over he was all too willing to get me squared away in my new quarters. As anyone in the Navy will tell you, if a Chief can't get it done, then it simply can't be done or isn't worth doing. :)

Now, three weeks later, I'm back at home. I've managed to retain somewhere around 80% of the flexibility I had immediately following the manipulation, which is good. I'm still working on being able to rotate my arm palm up (supination), but that too is progressing. As an added bonus, I was recently given the all clear by the doctor who operated on my ankle to finally lose my air cast and began walking on my own. I still have a bit of a limp, but that should clear up once my joint gets more stretched out.

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and words of encouragement - God has been faithful! And BZ to the Navy's CPO association for getting things done!

Apologetics 101

2009-05-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

For those who haven't stopped by there yet, Neptunus Lex is one of my favorite blogs - authored by a retired Navy Captain and former F-18 pilot (callsign "Lex") who has a knack for writing and who also tells some wonderful sea stories.

Yesterday, he posted a bit about The Atlantic's Ross Douthat and his essay up on the New York Times entitled “Dan Brown’s America." Quite unexpectedly (for me), this led to some critical comments on the veracity of Scripture and Christianity in general and prompted my response to those allegations. Since the "core group" of Lex's readers is relatively small, the same people tend to post repeatedly, and one gets to almost know them over time. My "handle" is MajHarvey, and since I've been an active reader for nearly 5 years, most of his followers are pretty much aware of my views and the fact that I'm pursuing the chaplaincy. Hence, I figured that it was almost expected that I would have some sort of response to the challenges to my faith. The gauntlet was being thrown down, as it were.

Take a look for yourself and see how it went - if you're so inclined, feel free to jump into the fray and post your own response to the issue(s) being discussed.

School Update

2009-05-16T03:50:00.000-07:00

Awhile back I posted about my struggles with Greek, and all the work I had to do to stay on track to graduate this June. After much thought and prayer, and upon the recommendation of my advisor, I've decided to drop my Greek classes - as well as a few others - and take a reduced course load this quarter, the better to focus on my recovery & rehabilitation.

Although I was not able to get a refund for the classes I had already signed up for, the registrar worked out an acceptable solution - I'll take an "incomplete" for the courses I had to withdraw from during the Winter and Spring quarters, then will audit them again when they come around next year. I'll do the homework then, and the professor will simply enter a change of grade once they grade my assignments. This way, not only do I not have to pay for another course ($1300 per class), but this arrangement also ensures that an "F" grade does not show up on my transcript - which would've been the case if I'd simply dropped the courses.

What this means in practical terms is that my graduation timeline has been pushed back - instead of graduating this June and finishing my remaining classes in December, I'll now be finishing everything and graduating in June 2010. Naturally, I was a little perturbed at this initially, but I've come to realize that this is the best (and most realistic) course of action. It simply was untenable for me to "make up" ten hours of credit while simultaneously taking another twelve hours of classes this quarter - all while trying to fit in therapy sessions 3x/week.

I feel a great sense of peace in this decision, and know that God has a plan for all of this - I just need to keep in mind that I'm operating according to His timeline, not my own.

Laying It down

2009-04-11T01:43:00.000-07:00

I've been watching a show called Top Sniper on the Military Channel recently, and I have to admit that it made me a bit nostalgic. Watching those guys engaging targets with their scoped-out rifles while adjusting to the terrain, wind, and various obstacles made me wish that I could be a part of it.

You see, I love to shoot.

This started back when I was six years old and received a BB gun for my birthday. My dad and I used to go out in our backyard and set up skeet for me to plink at. It was there that I learned the fundamentals of marksmanship as well as how to handle a weapon safely. This would be further refined over the years as I learned to hunt dove, squirrels, ducks, deer, and other wildlife with my dad and brothers in the woods and marshes of Georgia and Virginia. Eventually, the Marine Corps would build upon this solid foundation and teach me to hit a target consistently at up to 500 yards using the open sights of my M-16A2 service rifle. My dream was to one day be assigned to the Marine Corps Rifle and Pistol Team and compete in enough matches to earn the coveted Distinguished Rifle and Pistol badges. Alas, it was not to be...

But that didn't mean I couldn't try.

Since all Marines are riflemen, and since officers are required to qualify with both rifle and pistol, I had ample opportunity to show my stuff on the range on an annual basis. In boot camp, the weeks we spent on the rifle range were my favorite times, if anything can be considered favorable during those hellacious 12 weeks. The reason was simple - on the range the DIs couldn't mess with you - it was just you, your rifle, and the target. No distractions, just you in your own little world. I loved it. Unlike others who worried about getting enough points to qualify, my only concern in those days was to see how high I could score in the Expert category. In fact, at one point I held the range record at Camp Pendleton with a score of 63 out of 65 - a mere two points away from a "possible," or perfect score; a record that would remain unbroken until just a few years ago. Eventually, I would earn multiple awards for consistently shooting Expert with both rifle and pistol - as denoted on the requalification bars on the different badges:

This would be enough for many Marines; indeed, most would be quite proud of this achievement.

But I wanted more - I want to compete in an actual match. I finally got my chance in the spring of 1999 when I heard that Camp Pendleton would be hosting the Pacific Fleet/All Navy matches. I found out that my regiment - 11th Marines - would be putting together a team, and that they needed a "tyro," or new shooter who'd never competed before. After begging my CO for permission, I was granted TAD to shoot with the team. The only problem was that the competition was only a few weeks away, and none of us had much time to get familiar with the weapons we would be using - M-14s for the rifle competition, and .45s for the pistol matches.

Still, we did the best we could with the time we had, and by the time the competition rolled around we were as ready as we would ever be. Among our fellow competitors would be SEAL teams, Recon Marines, and marksmanship units from other services. Quite an impressive lineup. In the end, though, our team would go on to take first place in the team matches for both rifle and pistol, have our pictures taken for the base newspaper, and I would earn an individual bronze medal for the Excellence in Competition (EIC) pistol match.

Sadly, those glory days are long past. To add insult to injury, as a (future) chaplain I am forbidden from even carrying a weapon, much less shooting one - not even in training. It may not seem like much, but this was a hard thing for me to give up - to sacrifice on the altar as it were. But, I know that I'm answering a higher calling and that certain desires must be set aside in order to accomplish the mission that God has set before me. I don't regret it - not even a little bit - but I still feel a longing as I watch the show and wonder what might have been if I had pursued a different path.

I think I would've made a pretty good sniper.

But, I have to admit, I'm pretty pleased with the fact that the Army at least allows me to wear my EIC badge on my new uniform - I figure it lets the troops know that I'm not a complete pogue. :)

It Could Always Be Worse...

2009-04-08T20:31:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been a little more than two months since my accident and I have to admit that my recuperation is progressing well, albeit slowly. But even with all the support of my family and friends, there have still been days where I've found myself frustrated, anxious or depressed about my injuries and the length of time it will take before can return to full duty. Sometimes the emotions were so strong it was almost overwhelming, and I would find myself engaging in self-pity, wondering why all this had to happen. I imagine it's pretty easy to feel that way when you're the only one you know with injuries like this.

That all changed for me last week.

I was down at Balboa Naval Hospital for another session of occupational therapy, and noticed the guy sitting next to me at the table. Like me, he was doing some exercises with his injured hand in an effort to increase its flexibility. In an effort to strike up some conversation I asked him what had happened. He responded by lifting the sleeve of his T-shirt, revealing an ugly-looking series of scars and skin grafts that wrapped around his upper bicep. It turned out that he too had been involved in a motorcycle accident, except in his case he had been forced into the guard rail which resulted in the muscles of his right arm basically being stripped off. Though the surgeons had been able to reattach them, there was still a significant amount of nerve damage. He could still move his fingers, but his hand hung limply from his wrist. He said the doctors would eventually have to fuse the wrist so that he'd at least be able to have some use of his hand.

Wow. And I thought I had it bad...

As I was considering my own injuries in light of this fellow's circumstances, I happened to notice another young man entering the therapy room. Like me, he was in a wheelchair; unlike me, I saw that he would never leave it. You see, both of his legs had been amputated at the knee - one above and one below, and his right arm was encased in a cast from his elbow to his fingertips.

I didn't get an opportunity to hear his story, but the effect it had on me was profound. Though my injuries are the worst I've ever experienced in my life, they pale in comparison to what others have to deal with. My prognosis is good - the doctors are confident that I'll eventually walk and run again, and will regain full (if somewhat limited) functionality in my wrist. It all came home to me - in a way that it never had before - that it all could have been so much worse. I could easily have been either of those two guys in the therapy room, or even worse. By God's grace and mercy I only sustained a few broken bones, neither of which were life-threatening, and which (hopefully) won't seriously impact my life or future plans beyond this year, Lord willing.

Oh, I still get frustrated from time to time - but it's not the same as it was before. Instead, I find myself focusing more on finding things to be grateful for.

And that list never ends.

It's All Greek to Me

2009-03-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

I've recently become aware of one of the most colossal blunders I've made during my time in seminary. Allow me to explain:

As an M.Div. student, I'm required to take either Greek, Hebrew, or a combination of both.

I chose Greek.

I took the first course in the fall of 2006, and did okay - ending up with a C. So far, so good. But then I took a wrong turn; my professor, Mark Strauss, took a sabbatical and his replacement took over the next course with an entirely different teaching method. Soon, I felt myself sinking and decided to simply withdraw from the course rather than risk failing. I thought I'd just pick it up again the next year when Mark was back and go from there - after all, how much difference could one year make?

Unexpectedly, I was faced with a dilemma when the next year rolled around: a new course called "The Ethics of War" was being offered, but it conflicted with the Greek class I had intended to take. Thinking that the ethics class would be much more valuable to my future career, I opted to take it instead, thus putting Greek off for yet another year. Bad move.

Finally, I resumed my Greek studies in January 2009, more than two years since my last Greek class. I quickly found that I had barely retained anything from my previous class, and began cramming to catch up. However, unlike most other classes, one does not "cram" Greek. It has to be built layer upon successive layer, starting with a firm foundation - which I lacked. To make matters worse, my accident occurred in the middle of all this, causing me to miss several weeks of classes and fall even further behind.

Though my professor was kind enough to grant me an extension to complete the course, this means that I now have to hastily work to build and strengthen my foundation of Greek knowledge while simultaneously enrolling in Intermediate Greek this quarter.

And all of this while I still have make-up work from other courses, 12 hours of new courses (Greek included) to complete, a senior Statement of Faith to finish, and my physical therapy sessions to attend three times a week!

So keep me in your prayers, as it's going to be a long, hard road these next 10 weeks.

Brothers at War & Jon Voight

2009-03-29T15:57:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard, there's a new documentary in town called "Brothers at War." Unlike the recent spate of anti-American films on the Iraq war, which paint our soldiers as confused, angry, or psychopathic killers (Lions for Lambs, Stop-Loss, In the Valley of Elah, etc.), Brothers at War is a relatively simple story of one brother's quest to understand the motivation behind two of his brothers' decisions to serve in the Army and deploy (repeatedly) to Iraq.

As the oldest of four brothers, Jake Rademacher travels to Iraq to see his brother Isaac, an Army captain. After several weeks there, he returns home somewhat cocky, thinking he now understands his brothers and discovers that his youngest brother Joe still doesn't think he "gets it,"since he only spent a short time over there. So he goes back again, this time embedding with a Marine Corps mobile training team and their Iraqi counterparts. He goes out on numerous missions and patrols with them, and is present when an IED explodes only a few hundred yards away from him, wounding several of the Iraqis. He returns home much more subdued than before, but he has accomplished his goal - he has finally earned the respect of his brothers.

This is no big-budget, Hollywood film; rather, it was shot on a shoestring budget with money raised from a handful of supporters in Decatur, IL (the producer's hometown). The only reason it was able to make the leap to the "big screen" was due to the efforts of Jon Voight & Gary Sinise, both of whom are huge supporters of the military. Voight saw an early screening of the film and called Sinise, telling him "You gotta get in on this project!" Gary signed on as executive producer, and was key in helping getting it released into theatres, albeit on a limited basis.

Oceanside, CA happened to be one of the 25 locations nationwide where the film opened this past weekend, and I was able to convince my father-in-law, Fred, to accompany me. Little did we know that we would have our brush with fame before the evening ended...

We headed out to the 4:45 showing, and made it just in time, with Fred pushing me in my wheelchair. As we rolled inside, we were met by some ladies with Soldiers' Angels, an awesome group whose goal is to help out servicemembers in any way they can. As we stood (or sat) there chatting with them, who should walk in but Jon Voight! Seeing me in my wheelchair, he walked right up and shook my hand. As I rose to stand on my one good leg, he asked me questions about myself as the SA ladies began snapping pictures. When he asked me how I'd been injured, I was quick to point out that it hadn't happened "over there" in Iraq or Afghanistan, but rather was the result of a recent motorcycle accident. I went on to tell him about my 18 years of service in the Marines and my ongoing efforts to finish seminary and become an Army chaplain. He seemed genuinely impressed with my commitment to serve our troops, even if it meant returning to a combat zone without a weapon in order to minister to their needs.

Jake Rademacher, myself & Jon Voight

The SA ladies quickly gathered around and began snapping pictures, and at one point Jake Rademacher came over and joined us for the impromptu photo op. My father-in-law didn't waste the opportunity either. While Voight stood munching my popcorn, Fred told him about his idea for a new movie about his favorite Civil War character, Nathan Bedford Forrest. To my surprise(!), Voight appeared interested and even pulled out a small pad of paper to take down the details - even going so far as to ask "So what part would I play?" After thinking about it for a bit, Fred replied that he thought Jon could play the role of Forrest's chaplain, while Forrest himself might be played by Brad Pitt. "I understand you're some relation to him, aren't you?" Fred asked with a straight face, to Jon's wry amusement.

Later, after the movie was over, we had the opportunity to sit in on a Q&A session with the film's producer, Jake Rademacher himself. He did a great job explaining his motivation in making the film as well as conveying a deep sense of respect for all those who serve in the military.

So if you get a chance, please go see this film - especially if you can make it by next weekend, since box office receipts from the first two weeks are used to determine whether or not a film will receive wider release. This is definitely the type of film that the American public needs to see - not a slick Hollywood production, but a simple glimpse into the lives of our average - yet extraordinary - servicemembers and their families, and the ideals which caused them to put their lives on the line for their country.

Oh, and if you happen to hear about a movie called "Wizard in the Saddle" about the life and times of Nathan Bedford Forrest in the next few years, you'll know where it came from...

More Good News

2009-03-13T18:16:00.000-07:00

Just got back from two doctor's appointments today - one with the physical therapist for my wrist, the other with the orthopedic surgeon who operated on my ankle. Good news on both fronts!

The physical therapist was impressed with the level of progress I'd made in just the time since my visit with her last week; I have much greater flexibility in my fingers, although my wrist movement is still very limited. The surgeon was also very happy about how well my ankle is healing; so much so that my hard cast was tossed out and I was given a new "air" cast, which basically looks like a giant ski boot, complete with an assortment of Velcro straps. Best of all, it's removable, which means I can finally wash my leg and foot! (Trust me, it looks pretty grody)

He also told me that I can begin putting weight on it in about two more weeks - but no more than 20-30 lbs. in conjunction with my new crutches. Best of all, he said that in only four weeks I should be able to walk around with my air cast - so I can finally bid farewell to my wheelchair! Yay!

Even though I know this healing process is going to be a long one ("Like training for the Olympics," said one surgeon), I'm still very encouraged to see how my body is beginning to respond to even the small exercises I'm able to do at this point. Praise God!

Is it me or God?

2009-03-09T00:34:00.000-07:00

We had an interesting discussion in our small group this evening. In talking about the Fruits of the Spirit, the question arose as to what portion of developing these attributes was the Spirit's work and what amount was a conscious effort on our part. Certainly, arguments can be made for both sides - the Bible clearly teaches that the Spirit is at work in our lives; yet on the other hand, our efforts can certainly either help or hinder the growth of that fruit.

So what is the answer to that question? Where does the line fall between the Holy Spirit's work and my own efforts?

To me, this represents another angle of the age-old question that arose between Calvin and Arminius concerning salvation and free will. I'm not going to take sides here, because to me the point is moot.

Why should I be concerned with whether my responsibility is 1%, 50% or 90%? The fact of the matter is that I have some God-given responsibility - so my primary concern should be in carrying out that responsibility to the best of my abilities. God, in His infinite wisdom, has seen fit to allow me a role in the work of His Kingdom - my job is simply to be a willing participant in that work. The more attuned I am to the Holy Spirit, the more I'm able to recognize opportunities to advance the Kingdom as they come my way. Likewise, if I'm out of tune I not only fail to recognize those opportunities presented to me but I may in fact do damage by insisting on handling things MY way - not God's way. But even then all is not lost, for God is still able to take even my mistakes and use them for good.

I can't say how much a relief it is to know that my personal spiritual development does not depend solely on my own efforts. At the same time, it gives me great encouragement to know that God has invested me with a key role to play in events of eternal significance.

The Slow Process of Healing

2009-03-01T01:38:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been nearly a month since my accident and by all accounts I'm mending properly. Still, it's a hard thing to get used to - especially being cooped up in a wheelchair, having little or no personal freedom, and depending on others to do many of the simple tasks that one normally takes for granted. While I'm still amazed at the doctors' ability to reconstruct and repair the human body, and the body's own miraculous God-given ability to repair itself - I still find myself impatient that the process seems to take so long.

Yesterday was one of those days where it all just kind of hit me at once. I felt useless, trapped, frustrated, and a little stir-crazy from basically sitting around the house for the past few weeks. Even my recent effort to return to school last week was somewhat thwarted as I found myself unbelievably tired and worn out after only a few hours of attempted study. I had to go and lay down on the couch in the lobby with my arm and leg elevated and rest for awhile just to summon enough strength to sit through my three-hour Greek class.

Still, I'm trying to remain open to what God has to teach me through all of this. One important lesson I believe I'm learning is an increased empathy for the wounded veterans I will be dealing with in the future. Though my injuries aren't as severe, and will heal with time, I now know what it's like to be a cripple, and to have one's life placed "on hold" for the time being. I know the teeth-grinding frustration of chronic pain, and the havoc it can create with one's emotional stability. I know the embarrassment of bodily functions suddenly gone haywire, and of the creeping despair as one wonders whether or not his body will ever become "whole" again.

I'm grateful to be surrounded by loving friends and family, and am becoming increasingly aware of the role they play in the healing process, especially as it relates to keeping my morale up.

Iron Man

2009-02-17T16:05:00.001-08:00

Well, I had another visit to the orthopedic clinic today, and managed to get a copy of my x-rays while I was there. The stitches in my wrist came out as well, and I actually got to help out with that part by holding them with the tweezers while the corpsman cut them with a small surgical blade. Very interesting to be involved in one's own suture removal procedure, lemme tell ya.

This here's my left wrist, post-surgery, obviously. Though you can only make out two, there's actually three plates in there, with something like 18 screws holding everything in place. The weird thing is that when I have my cast off, I can actually feel the hardware in there, which is a bit unnerving.

I've still got a long ways to go with the physical therapy, as I can't really flex my hand forward or backwards much, and can't quite make a fist just yet.

Here we have my right ankle, with what looks like about a 4 or 5-inch steel plate with 8 screws holding it in place. If you look closely at the bottom of my tibia, you can see what appears to be multiple fractures down there. I don't know if there really are that many, but it sure looks pretty cool.

What you can't see is the fracture in my fibula, the thin bone on the left. I'm told it was broken a few inches below my knee, which means the force had to travel between the two bones, which also means there's some risk of damage to the ligament between the two bones. Although the doctors could've done another operation to screw the two bones together (and there was much debate on the subject), they ultimately decided that everything was aligned as it should be, and additional surgery was (thankfully) unnecessary at this point.

Obviously, I'm very grateful that this is the extent of my injuries - motorcycle accidents have a nasty way of turning out very, very badly for the rider. However, I am getting a little tired of the knowing looks and self-righteous mini-lectures from the medical staff when they find out that I was in a *motorcycle accident*, but I suppose that they see this kind of thing all too often, and that undoubtedly colors one's perceptions somewhat.

Of course, all these plates and screws means I'll never have a normal airline flight at any time in the foreseeable future...

God's Timing

2009-02-12T23:24:00.000-08:00

You know, a funny thing about being one who is "in need" (as opposed to having everything in order and simply trying to maintain the status quo) is that the Lord has a remarkable gift for bringing just the right people into your life at just the right time. Allow me to illustrate:

Around Thanksgiving 2005, I was beginning to think seriously about pursuing the chaplaincy. One of the first orders of business was to decide where to go to seminary, obviously. Since it was important to both my wife and me that we be near family, I had narrowed the choice down to two places in Southern California: Talbot School of Theology and Bethel Seminary San Diego.But I couldn't decide between the two schools. Then my wife and I attended an OCF retreat. There we got to know Chaplain Fred Robinson and his wife, who taught many of the classes that weekend. Just before we left, we happened to sit with them at lunch. When he heard that I wanted to become a chaplain, he naturally wanted to know where I was going to go to seminary. I told him my two choices - and my dilemma, and was surprised to find out that he had degrees from each of them! He told me everything I wanted to know about both schools, and based on his recommendations I chose Bethel, which has proved to be the perfect place for me.

Another example of this occurred just this past week. I have been a long-time reader of a blog called "Neptunus Lex," written by a now-retired naval aviator whom I've actually had the pleasure of meeting a few times. He posted a brief article about my accident, and asked his readership to wish me well. A few days later, I was contacted by a woman who also happens to live nearby and is the Assistant to the President of an organization called Soldiers' Angels, whose purpose is to provide support for servicemembers in many different ways. When she heard about my situation, she offered to check and see what she could do for us. Imagine my surprise when she called the next day and told us she had been authorized to purchase me a brand new laptop with voice recognition software! Not only that, but she came by the same day to deliver it and help set it up and get it linked in with our desktop computer.

Now I no longer have to wheel myself out to the garage and sit there trying to type with one hand while my injured leg gradually begins to throb because I am unable to elevate it. Instead, I can now work from the comfort of my bed, allowing my body to heal while still keeping my mind engaged with schoolwork and blogging.

My friend Jay Tobin once gave me this bit of knowlege; he said that "God is rarely early, never late, and always on time." I'm continuing to find out just how true that is.

Why I'm Not a Navy Chaplain

2009-02-12T11:45:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is the question I've gotten most frequently when people hear of my prior Marine service (18 yrs) and then find out that I'm planning on being an Army chaplain. To be honest, it was a bit of a struggle for me, as I had originally planned on doing exactly that, and it took quite a bit of work for me to change my mind.

Briefly then, here is my reasoning:

- First, having spent so many years in the Marines, my desire (as a chaplain) would be to continue that by serving with Marine units whenever/wherever possible. This in itself isn't a bad thing, but I felt that I would in some ways be less-than-enthusiastic about the (necessary) assignments I would have to have with the "blue" side - those strictly Navy assignments where there's not a Jarhead in sight. I felt that I would in some ways be "chomping at the bit" to get back to "my" Marines, and that my ministry to those sailors might suffer as a result.

- Next, I also believed that my wanting to be a "Marine chaplain" had something to do with my continued ability to wear the Marine uniform and associate with my fellow "devil dogs." All of which seemed to boil down to a pride issue - I didn't want to give up the pride that came with being affiliated with the Marine Corps, and pride isn't exactly the best trait to have as a chaplain - humility is much better.

- Lastly, I felt that when I was with the Marines, there might be a tendency to want to revert to a Marine officer mentality; that is, I could potentially forget my proper role as a chaplain and instead let my 12 years as a Marine officer begin to color my advice and recommendations - all of which would run counter to my ultimate purpose and efforts as a chaplain.

In the end, I realized that I had to be willing to give up all those personal pride issues that were so near and dear to me, and get down to what really mattered: serving those men & women in our nation's armed forces by ministering to their spiritual, mental and emotional needs. Now, as a soon-to-be Army chaplain, I find that my clarity of purpose is much better; every time I don my Army ACUs I am again reminded that it's not all about me - it's not about the uniform, the rank, or any of the shiny bits they may give me to wear. It's about service. As the Apostle Paul said, "I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do this for the sake of the gospel, that I might share in its blessings..."
- 1 Corinthians 9:22-23, NIV

Things Break

2009-02-04T22:51:00.000-08:00

(Note: this post was typed over several days at Balboa Naval Hospital. With one hand.)

Well, I suppose it had to happen eventually - at least according to the safety statistics my father used to throw at me in my younger days: I had an accident, Not just any accident, mind you - but the dreaded motorcycle accident. No falling down the stairs/slipping on ice/tripping over the curb mundane wonks for yours truly - no sir!

It began as a very normal - maybe even unusually good Friday morning. I had pried myself out of bed to meet some buddies for our weekly 0600 coffee & muffins Bible study at Pannikin's in Encinitas. There I splurged and got one of their excellent cinnamon rolls, with no idea that this tasty pastry would be my "last meal" until Sunday evening. After sharing some prayer and camaraderie with my buddies, I headed to Vista for some personal training with another buddy of mine, Van. You see, Van and I have known each other for almost 15 years. We were roommates at artillery school back in 1995, then were assigned to the same Marine unit here at Camp Pendleton, where we did a "WestPac" deployment together, then ended up as roommates again up until we both left the Corps in 1999 - me temporarily; him permanently. Though we'd stayed somewhat in contact over the years, it had only been in the past year or so that we'd begun renewing our friendship. So when he told me that he was opening up a small gym in Vista to do personal training, I thought it would be a perfect chance to kill two birds with one stone. I would be able to see my friend on a regular basis, AND I would have someone who knows me to encourage me in my efforts to get back in better shape. Oh, and since he's a self-described agnostic, I get a lot of time to talk to him about God. (Van, if you're reading this, yes, I am trying to convert you...)

So I showed up at 0800 and went through an hour of cardio/core training, then headed home to get cleaned up. I didn't have much on the schedule, but had been invited to attend a luncheon at Bethel Seminary with our guest speaker at noon, so I decided to get down there with plenty of time to spare. Being a "typical" day here in sunny SoCal, I decided that a ride on my "Trusty Triumph" would be just the thing. Despite the warmth, I still put on my heavy-duty Vanson leather jacket, little realizing that this garment would live up to its well-deserved reputation for durability less than an hour later. I headed down the I-15 for the 30-mile run to school, a trip I'd made countless times since purchasing my bike last May. The weather was beautiful, the sun was shining, traffic was relatively light, and I even got to zip along in the HOV lane for part of my journey - what could possibly ruin such a perfect day?

Plenty, as it turned out.

I was only a few miles from the seminary, heading east on I-8 as I entered the off-ramp for College Ave. I could see that the far end of the ramp was blocked with traffic, so I eased off the throttle in order to increase the gap between me and the guy in font of me for the inevitable slowdown. That's about when it happened. Some guy in the next lane to my left decided that gap was meant for HIM, so he darted into the space, unaware of the traffic piling up only a few hundred yards further down. I imagine that a few seconds later he had an "Oh crap!" moment as he realized that the equation [Mass • Velocity = Momentum] was about to interject itself in a very hard and fast way. So he did what any other knucklehead would've done - he slammed on his brakes. Since I had insufficient time to re-establish a safe gap between us since his abrupt lane change, I was forced to do the same thing.

Funny thing about motorcycles - you can hit the brakes pretty darn hard when you're straight & level, and she'll respond fine; just hunker down a tad as the front forks absorb the weight shifting and deceleration. In an uphill curve? Not so much.

So, I ended up laying her down on the right side going maybe 30mph, which wouldn't have been nearly so bad had not my right foot gotten caught underneath (causing multiple spiral fractures in my tibia) or had I not been thrown forward onto my left hand (shattering the wrist to such a degree that it took 3 plates, 4 wires and 18 screws to put the pieces back together).

X-rays of both my left wrist and right ankle (pre-surgery)

You can see how the bones on the wrist are all pushed over to the side - what you can't see is all the little bone fragments from my radius that were sheared off by the impact. It would take the doctor 6 1/2 hours of surgery to put it all back together.

On the right is my right ankle, with a couple of pretty nasty spiral fractures at the bottom of my tibia. I would also need a 5" long steel plate screwed into the bone to hold everything together.

And no, I have no idea what that thing on my hand is.

-----------------------------------------

Now, after 10 days at Balboa Naval Hospital and two (successful) surgeries, I'm here at home recovering nicely. All the CT scans came back negative for any other damage - no head trauma, spinal injuries, or internal bleeding - just the two aforementioned fractures. Amazingly, there was hardly even any "road rash," which I must attribute to wearing the proper safety gear, esp. a good quality leather jacket! God truly was with me through all of this, as I am well aware that it could've turned out much worse. As it is, I'll be off my feet for a few months, and will have to endure lots of physical/occupational therapy, but the prognosis is good, and I anticipate regaining full movement and use of both wrist and ankle.

Thanks so much for the many prayers and offers of help and support that have been sent our way - we are very grateful and thankful!

Cheering up daddy

2009-01-24T21:17:00.001-08:00

Ok, well, since this is my blog, I get to brag a bit about my family.

This is my daughter, Rachel. She's 5 1/2.

I love this picture.

She just started kindergarten last fall. Very outgoing - the type who will run up to you and give you a hug, whether she knows you or not. And, as I'm increasingly discovering, she's very sensitive.

We'd recently gotten some bad news regarding my job, and I was talking with my wife on the phone about what was going on. Rachel didn't hear the conversation, but she heard enough of my wife's responses to understand that daddy was upset about something. As soon as Tamara hung up, Rachel came up to her and told her that she thought daddy was sad, and wanted to do something to cheer him up. "Like what?" Tamara asked.

"Well, first we could go play tag in the park, then we could blow bubbles, then we'll go to his favorite fish taco place, and then we'll go get him a peanut butter and chocolate ice cream cone!"

"Wow, that sounds like a lot, Rachel - why don't you tell dad when we get home?

"No, no - it has to be a surprise!"

So that's what I got. We didn't have time for tag & bubble-blowing, but we did get fish tacos and ice cream. And I gained a new appreciation for the caring and sensitive nature of my precious daughter who loved her daddy and wanted to do whatever she could to cheer him up.

Y'know what? It worked.

The Shack

2009-01-23T00:19:00.001-08:00

Recently, I've been reading a fascinating book by Wm. Paul Young entitled... you guessed it... "The Shack." It was given to me by a friend, and at first I was a bit skeptical about it. I had neither the time nor the inclination to read another novel about someone's supposed encounter with God. But I have to say that this book was a pleasant surprise. For one, it's actually very well-written; it engages you and draws you in and I found myself unable to put it down for long periods of time. For another, it actually has pretty good theology in it. Though the writer personifies the Trinity as a large, jovial black woman (God the Father), a big-nosed, Middle Eastern carpenter (Jesus), and a small, ethereal Asian woman (Holy Spirit), it is neither disrespectful nor unimaginable. In fact, the more you read it, the more it becomes plausible to imagine the Godhead assuming these various roles if they were to appear in human form.

The book centers around Mack, a father of four whose youngest girl was kidnapped and murdered. As a father of a precocious five-year-old, I could immediately imagine the pain and torment that he undergoes as he struggles to reconcile his guilt, fear and anger. Honestly, there were several times when I was unable to continue reading as I found my eyesight suddenly being blurred by tears.

He receives an invitation to return to the site of his daughter's murder - only now it becomes transformed into a place of peace and tranquility. He spends a few days there, and his interactions with each member of the Trinity is truly impressive from a literary standpoint. The author admirably describes the various characteristics of each one, and provided what I believe to be a credible apologetic for how and why God allows evil in this world.

I read a lot of books, and I've rarely been as engaged as I was in reading this one. If there's one book you should put on your list for 2009, it should be The Shack.

I Wonder, Do You Know Him?

2009-01-22T00:10:00.000-08:00

Dr. Shadrach Meshach (S.M.) Lockridge was the pastor of Calvary Baptist Church here in San Diego from 1953 to 1993. Listen to his three minute description of our King of Kings.

First Sermon

2009-01-21T23:20:00.000-08:00

Well, a few hours ago I preached my first "real" sermon - with a pulpit and everything! Surprisingly, I wasn't nearly as nervous as I had previously thought I would be. No doubt the prayers and support of family and friends helped in that regard.

I had a few accolades when I was finished (maybe *because* I was finished?), with people telling me that they thought I did a great job, etc. Now, of course it's nice to receive "attaboys" for something you've done, but in this case all I was really concerned with was whether or not people *really* got something out of my sermon. I was acutely aware of the fact that I am not pursuing this line of work for any sort of personal gratification or "will to power." I'm doing it because I want to share the Good News of what Jesus Christ has done/is doing/will do in our lives and I seem to be blessed with certain talents in relating that message in a clear way.

I don't ever want this to be about me - not 5 months, 5 years, or 50 years from now.

Lord, may you and you alone receive the glory and honor for any work I may do on this earth.

Gran Torino

2009-01-18T00:02:00.000-08:00

Went and saw Gran Torino last Friday, and came away impressed. In my opinion, this is one of Clint Eastwood's best movies. He plays a cantankerous old Korean War vet whose wife has recently passed away and who finds himself living alone, alienated from his family, and surrounded by Hmong neighbors whom he doesn't understand. I won't give it all away, for you must go see this movie for yourself. There's a great deal of character development throughout, along with a strong theme of redemption. There's a lot of humor here, too, and fans of Eastwood will no doubt enjoy several of the scenes where he confronts would-be thugs or teaches a young teenager how to talk "like a man."

I'll be very surprised if this movies isn't at least nominated for a few Oscars at the next Academy Awards.

Undulation

2009-01-17T22:16:00.000-08:00

I'll be preaching my first "public" message this Wednesday, and thought I'd use as my topic the idea of undulation. I wish I could say this is an original subject, but it is not. I first came across the idea years back when reading C.S. Lewis' book The Screwtape Letters. In it, an older demon (Screwtape) has a series of conversations with his young nephew & protégé, Wormwood. Here's an excerpt:

“Humans are amphibians--half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change. Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation--the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks.”

LIFE IS A SERIES OF UPS AND DOWNS.

We must realize that “the law of undulation” is a natural part of our human existence. Periods of growth and vitality will alternate with periods of dryness and dullness. Being or becoming a Christian does not free us from this cycle, but it does allow us to change our perspective. Are you married? Well, whether you've been married for 3 months or 30 years - has your life been a continuous stretch of wedded bliss? No? If it's been like mine, it's a series of ups and downs. This holds true for every aspect of our lives - work, family, football - as we've seen in the recent Chargers season - and everything else.

Now, quite naturally...

WE TEND TO ENJOY THE UPS

RATHER THAN THE DOWNS.

*** THIS MAY BE NATURAL, BUT IS IT BIBLICAL? ***

I'm always leery when I hear something about the "prosperity gospel" - that's the idea that God wants all of his children to be healthy, wealthy, popular and successful. For one thing, Jesus didn't seem to live up to those standards, and neither did the Apostle Paul. Look at II Corinthians 11:23-30 and read Paul's description of all the hardships he's endured. Doesn't seem to be the normal "career track" of one who follows God, does it? But look at what Paul says in the very next chapter, in 12:9-10:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

So here's Paul, one of the pillars of the early church, and he's gone through more pain and suffering than likely any of us will have to endure in our lifetime. Is he bitter? Is he resentful? No! In fact, he actually boasts about his weakness and suffering! Why? Because in his weakness, the power of God became necessary, and the only thing Paul was willing to boast about was what Christ was able to do in him and through him during those times of trial and difficulty. And, if you let him, he will do the exact same thing in your life.

Now, based on this I am convinced that what we naturally tend to view as good and bad is actually mistaken. If we were to spell it out, we would probably say something like this:

OUR VIEW

That which benefits me or makes me happy = good

That which hurts me or makes me unhappy = bad

But God uses a different paradigm. I think His would look something like this:

GOD’S VIEW

That which brings you closer to me = good

That which takes you farther away from me = bad

Hebrews 12:7,11 says:

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Another excerpt from Lewis' book:

“Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs--to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by continual tempting, because we design them only for the table, and the more their will is interfered with, the better. He cannot "tempt" to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles.”

Recently I've had some tribulations concerning a continuation of my military orders, with the (unexpected) result that I've not been paid in the last 7 weeks - which is rather hard to manage in an expensive place like San Diego. But as frustrating as the situation is, I've noticed a few areas where God is at work in my life. For one, He's teaching me a lot about patience and not being in control - something that doesn't come naturally for me. For another, my faith is increasing as I have to rely on Him to provide for our basic needs - we still have to pay our mortgage and other bills, buy food, gas, etc.

The key to shifting paradigms is that we must learn to take our eyes off of ourselves & our problems and instead look to God. We must try to see what it is that He is trying to teach us in the midst of these trials, even if we don't yet have the perspective to put it all into context.

James 1:2,3 tells us:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

There must be a building of strength before there can be a testing of strength. In the military, a new recruit/candidate must endure boot camp/OCS and then go through other training to be a Navy SEAL, Special Forces, Ranger or Airborne qualified, etc. before they are ever sent out on a mission. In each case, there is a tremendous amount of training and strength building before these men and women are ever tested. You don't just grab a recruit and hand 'em a rifle and send 'em off to Afghanistan - they have to learn how to use it. They have to be trained and built up. They have to learn endurance and perseverance - otherwise, there's a good chance they'll never complete the mission. And this training isn't just a one-shot deal; it's on-going. Faith, endurance and patience are not attributes that develop in calm, serene places where all of our needs are continually met. They are produced in austere environments where we feel battered, bruised and in need. They develop as we recognize that we alone do not possess the necessary traits to see us through - we must rely on God and His provision. We must be continually strengthened by trying circumstance in order to develop the perseverance that will hold us in good stead for when we are truly tested.

So my challenge is for you to look at your circumstances in light of what the Bible tells us, not on the basis of what your human emotions want you to think or feel. Whatever your circumstances are - whether your trials are at work, in your marriage, or wherever - look for the lessons God is trying to teach you. Endure. Persevere.

“Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks ‘round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

Brave New World

2009-01-15T18:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, here goes…

As more and more of my friends and acquaintances have joined the blogosphere, I finally decided that I would throw my hat in the ring, as it were. If nothing else, it will give me an opportunity to express my thoughts and considerations on the various and sundry things that intersect with my life on a daily basis. Occasionally deep, possibly funny, probably rambling… but that’s pretty much what life is like, no?